TL;DR: It´s unfair how so many young people will have the time of their life tonight by partying and having sex while I have to be all alone in my apartment. I lose more and more of myself by each passing years I have no joy left, New Years Eve was the last day I was excited about and now that has been taken from me too.
I am 24 years old and this is the first time I will be spending New Years Eve alone, I hear fireworks go off none stop and stupidly watched a Live Instagram video from a Danish girl who was singing along to a song at a private party.
All these young people will make memories and have the time of their life by partying, drinking and having sex, so many men will have sex tonight while I have to sit inside and rot. Every year I lose more and more of myself. I am thinking to go for a walk down to the city just to get some air, contemplate about life and to torment myself by seeing all these slutty Danish girls.
I envy all of these people who are able to party and enjoy themselves so much it´s so unfair that I can´t because of many reasons and it fills me with hatred, envy and sadness I feel like I am about to cry I used to have such an exciting life in my childhood even in my teenage years but now everything is so boring and trivial the last 5 years has been a blur with nothing new or exciting happening and by each passing year I lose more and more of myself, New Years Eve was the one day a year I would look forward to because of nostalgic reasons and now that has been taken away from me too I mind as well rope.
I am 24 years old and this is the first time I will be spending New Years Eve alone, I hear fireworks go off none stop and stupidly watched a Live Instagram video from a Danish girl who was singing along to a song at a private party.
All these young people will make memories and have the time of their life by partying, drinking and having sex, so many men will have sex tonight while I have to sit inside and rot. Every year I lose more and more of myself. I am thinking to go for a walk down to the city just to get some air, contemplate about life and to torment myself by seeing all these slutty Danish girls.
I envy all of these people who are able to party and enjoy themselves so much it´s so unfair that I can´t because of many reasons and it fills me with hatred, envy and sadness I feel like I am about to cry I used to have such an exciting life in my childhood even in my teenage years but now everything is so boring and trivial the last 5 years has been a blur with nothing new or exciting happening and by each passing year I lose more and more of myself, New Years Eve was the one day a year I would look forward to because of nostalgic reasons and now that has been taken away from me too I mind as well rope.
