New study finds single women are happier than single men
Forget the stereotype of the sad, lonely cat lady —
a new U of T psychology study finds that on
average, single women are happier than single men.
According to the researchers, the results suggest that
men may have more to gain than women in
heteronormative romantic partnerships.
“Ours is the first comprehensive study of how gender
differences are tied to well-being in singlehood,” says
lead author Elaine Hoan , a PhD candidate in
the Department of Psychology in the Faculty of Arts &
Science.
“From here, we can begin to understand why exactlyr
single women are doing better than single men, and
how everyone can balance these elements to build
their best lives.”
For the study, Hoan and Department of Psychology
professor Geoff MacDonald examined four well-being
outcomes of nearly 6,000 adults: how satisfied people
are with their current relationship status, how satisfied
they are with their life, how sexually fulfilled they are
and how much they want to be in a relationship. Due
to sample size limitations with non-binary individuals,
the study focused on individuals who identified as men
or women.
Overall, the researchers found that women fared better
flying solo than men. They are happier with their single
status, the quality of their lives, the quality of their sex
lives and they desire a partner less.
Hoan says the results build on existing research that
shows men fear singlehood more than women do, and
that they struggle to navigate the expectations of
traditional masculinity.
“There’s the notion that to really ‘be a man’, you must
be the type that ‘gets girls’ — it’s a sign of status. But
in the early stages of dating, men typically have a more
difficult time obtaining a partner and therefore
accessing sex.”
This connects to the finding that single women are
more sexually fulfilled than single men, perhaps also
because they may have more sexual freedom and can
focus on their own pleasure instead of prioritizing a
male partner’s.
Additionally, the authors looked at age and ethnicity in
the context of gender. They found that older single
men are happier than younger single men, which aligns
with existing research showing that people tend to be
happier with their long-term singlehood after the age of
40. They also noted that single Black women have a
higher desire for a partner than single white women.
Hoan says the study serves as a jumping off point for
contextualizing incels — extremists who resent women
for their singlehood — within the broader population of
single men. While incels are often studied as an
isolated misogynistic subculture with unique issues,
overall unhappiness in single men may lead some men
to splinter off and join this group.
While the paper doesn’t provide direct evidence for why
singlehood is a better experience for women relative to
romantic relationships, it points to potential reasons for
further investigation.
“For example, we know from existing research that in
heteronormative relationship structures, women
typically take on more than their fair share of domestic
and emotional labour,” says Hoan. “As well, their
sexual pleasure tends to be deprioritized and
potentially reduced as a result of the unfair divisions of
labour.”
She further notes that women may be more satisfied
with their single lives overall because they usually have
bigger social networks to rely on for support. They also
have financial independence, meaning income as a
traditional advantage of partnership is not as important
as it used to be.
Hoan and MacDonald are next examining the link
between marriage and well-being around the world, as
their research continues to shed light on the extent to
which romantic relationships contribute to life
fulfillment — whether you’re in one or not.
“For single women more than anyone, societal
pressures to partner might make it difficult for those
who don’t want to necessarily jump into a relationship
but feel like they should,” says Hoan.
“Our study validates that experience — if you want to
stay single, you may be happier for it.”
