I'm sat here near wasted and my mind made some things again. I thought of two new animals. Both of which take their lifestyles and their names, in part from my two favorite things on the planet.
Animal number 1: The Alcohog
Probably a bit obvious. The Alcohog is a pig that drinks a shit ton of alcohol. Calling it a/my "spirit animal" has two meanings I guess. It, like me has organs that are physically dependent on alcohol to survive. Apart from the fact that the Alcohog developed this trait through evolution, and not just coping itself to the grave by drinking constantly jfl. This Hog has 3 Livers that constantly regenerate at a fast pace so not to succumb to Cirrhosis. Often said to be heard shouting football hooligan chants from afar but this hasn't yet been proven. A friendly animal until it gets too tired and starts getting pissed off easily. Will let you pet him and will let you hug him if you buy him a drink.
Animal number two: The Herion
Based off the Heron. But was I fuck going to name it "the heroin"
so i bastardized the spelling instead. The Herion does what it says on the Tin, or rather the Needle. This bird likes to take Heroin all the time. As a consequence, younger members of its species often tend to fall asleep a lot, not unlike infants of other species but for different reasons i.e. nodding out. The bird thrives on heroin and gets cold sweats as well as poor motor skills when unable to source it from its local plug.
Luckily for the Herion, unlike me, its veins are completely resistant towards rot and tracks. Its Lungs and Nasal passages are also incredibly versatile so that in the event that the Bird has no fucking needles left because he decided to be lazy and not go the fucking Exchange and get some more, he can opt to smoke or snort his Nectar instead. A rather lethargic Bird. Doesn't to a ton. Just wants to be left alone. Will happily steal your stuff if it means it can get more Heroin.
Animal number 1: The Alcohog
Probably a bit obvious. The Alcohog is a pig that drinks a shit ton of alcohol. Calling it a/my "spirit animal" has two meanings I guess. It, like me has organs that are physically dependent on alcohol to survive. Apart from the fact that the Alcohog developed this trait through evolution, and not just coping itself to the grave by drinking constantly jfl. This Hog has 3 Livers that constantly regenerate at a fast pace so not to succumb to Cirrhosis. Often said to be heard shouting football hooligan chants from afar but this hasn't yet been proven. A friendly animal until it gets too tired and starts getting pissed off easily. Will let you pet him and will let you hug him if you buy him a drink.
- Likes: drinking Beer, drinking Gin, drinking Vodka, drinking Whiskey, drinking Absinthe, drinking Wine, drinking Everclear
- Dislikes: Not drinking
Animal number two: The Herion
Based off the Heron. But was I fuck going to name it "the heroin"
so i bastardized the spelling instead. The Herion does what it says on the Tin, or rather the Needle. This bird likes to take Heroin all the time. As a consequence, younger members of its species often tend to fall asleep a lot, not unlike infants of other species but for different reasons i.e. nodding out. The bird thrives on heroin and gets cold sweats as well as poor motor skills when unable to source it from its local plug.Luckily for the Herion, unlike me, its veins are completely resistant towards rot and tracks. Its Lungs and Nasal passages are also incredibly versatile so that in the event that the Bird has no fucking needles left because he decided to be lazy and not go the fucking Exchange and get some more, he can opt to smoke or snort his Nectar instead. A rather lethargic Bird. Doesn't to a ton. Just wants to be left alone. Will happily steal your stuff if it means it can get more Heroin.
- Likes: Heroin, Opium, Codeine, Fentanyl, Sleep
- Dislikes: Company, no Heroin, Job applications
