Deleted member 8353
Former Hikikomori, Aimless Pleasure Seeker
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- Joined
- May 29, 2018
- Posts
- 9,341
I don't know how much longer I can continue doing this, most days I sit in my chair doing little more than wishing that I could cease to be conscious, just wishing that it would stop. It's almost as if the mere state of being alive is starting to cause me some level of pain. As I mentioned here before, I regularly alternate between feeling so detached and out of my head that I'm about to lose my sanity, and feeling so depressed or angry that I can't even cope. The former is immeasurably more tolerable than the latter.
Clearly I need to do something different, but I don't know what to do. Should I try to get a minimum wage job? I don't imagine I could get hired for anything else. Furthermore I live in an area with a relatively low population, and I have no vehicle. Not to mention that it doesn't seem like any option would lead anywhere pleasurable. Being incel with a wageslave job doesn't sound any better than being NEET. Maybe I could try and save money, plan on using it to travel or something.
Truthfully I don't even know how to be an adult, my parents pretty much taught me nothing useful as a kid, in fact my mother has done nothing but sabotage me throughout my entire life. On the rare occasion that I see him, my father pretty much just belittles me, whereas my mother seems content with me being her pet. I absolutely loathe living like this, but I'm so avoidant that I don't know how to do anything else.
Clearly I need to do something different, but I don't know what to do. Should I try to get a minimum wage job? I don't imagine I could get hired for anything else. Furthermore I live in an area with a relatively low population, and I have no vehicle. Not to mention that it doesn't seem like any option would lead anywhere pleasurable. Being incel with a wageslave job doesn't sound any better than being NEET. Maybe I could try and save money, plan on using it to travel or something.
Truthfully I don't even know how to be an adult, my parents pretty much taught me nothing useful as a kid, in fact my mother has done nothing but sabotage me throughout my entire life. On the rare occasion that I see him, my father pretty much just belittles me, whereas my mother seems content with me being her pet. I absolutely loathe living like this, but I'm so avoidant that I don't know how to do anything else.