Title. I recently turned 19, and now that my teenage years are coming to an end, I've realized that I have hardly any good memories of anything from my teenage years. Almost nothing. I can barely remember doing anything noteworthy when I was 14 or 15 or 16. I just remember sitting in class completely aloof and depressed and rotting away at home playing video games and browsing the internet. I never went out with friends, I barely did anything productive or fulfilling, I never talked to and got along with girls I found attractive, I never had any meaningful interactions with other people, with a few exceptions. I spent most of my teenage years mentally in solitary confinement with almost constant anxiety and loneliness, with only a few copes to numb the pain. For the rest of my life, I will have no choice but to live with the fact that I spent my teenage years - a time that should have been the most enjoyable and exciting phase of a life full of milestones - as nothing more than an empty void of isolation and anguish, with occasional temporary coping to make some space. I guess having a decent teenage experience just wasn’t in the cards for me. 
