i know i will never be neurotypical. i feel like some time when i was growing up my brain farted and dropped a chromosome or two. but i feel like i could be somewhere decent now if i hadnt been bullied throughout highschool. it all started somewhere halfway through year 8. (im from chadstralia) one of my 'friends' and i like the same girl and because this was years ago i dont remember what happened but somehow we started hating eachother and he started giving me shit about it and even tried to fight me once. the worst part about this was my other 'friends' started to become toxic towards me even though they were the only people i hung out with. i remember i was so fucking happy when i started year 8 i thought high school was going to be the best time of my life. basically this douche nozzle was a social butterfly although he wasnt a chad instead he was some limey negative canthal tilt having english cunt. he eventually fucked off from our group somewhere around year 9 i think.
year 9 was the year where i was pretty much traumatised from the teasing i received so i was really quiet and fucking hated school. unfortunately year 9 was also possibly the worst year of my life because of the teasing, talk about kicking the fucker when hes already down and licking his wounds. because i was quiet and had no friends, in one of my classes towards the end of the year, the teacher was supposed to tell off one of the kids for talking (some asian nerd but atleast he wasnt a mentalcel like me) but got my name confused for his. some twats thought that was funny and started to mock the teachers voice telling me to shut up even though i would sit there quietly doing my work. i felt so fucking pathetic because prior to that i knew i was worthless but that was just the nail in the coffin. every day was a prison sentence and i started questioning my life at that point for the first time. i remember during the holiday christmas/new year break being depressed af thinking about the next year.
this is the sad part. for my class next year, for whatever reason they decided to put the same people in next years class. yep, literally the entire class where i was teased the previous year was in my new one. to this day i think that mustve been some sort of sick fucking joke. not surprising the tormenting continued into the next year although by the end of the year i became so used to it that i just couldnt care anymore. my coping mechanism was trying to be friendly to the bullies which actually worked but i had to try so hard to force myself to like them it was utterly pathetic. i could go into much more detail about how shit the rest of my schooling was but i will spare the details. the worst part is some of these melts actually became school counsellors. also there was this one time where someone tried to throw an egg at me and another when i stacy pushed my papers off the desk when i didnt say anything. but again im not going to go into detail into individual events.
for the past few years where ive tried to recover from the teasing i tried to convince myself it was only because i was shy and needed to be more outgoing jfl. im not that naive anymore i know its because im utter genetic sewage and people already have made up their mind on how theyre going to treat me before i even open my mouth. recently all of a sudden i became depressed about my looks and just the sight of my funny subhuman looking head drowns my heart. i also realised i just visually look like shit when i had to quit my first ever job because my coworkers were twice my size and giving me shit. its a shame they had to be such toxic pricks because ive barely made any money since and i didnt dislike the job only the cunts i had to work with. im a big fan of football (soccer) and honestly its one of the only reasons why i havnt necked myself yet, that and because im not a fucking puss and can handle my own shit. even when im playing i see the shit that people like me exclusively get like some cunt whinging for me to pass the ball but when some way better looking dude doesnt pass theyre quite as a fucking church mouse. people will onlt give me shit because im non threatening. honestly, swear on mike mew if some cunt has a go at me again ill walk up to him and bite him in the throat, deadass. he can beat my face to a pulp i clearly dont have any respect for my face anyway so what have i got to lose. i dont even care about women and sex i just want to be respected by my own gender and society in general. thats what the media doesnt understand about incels. sometimes its like i get deja vu of what its like to experience the world in another persons body and it hurts me so much that i have to experience it in this shitty husk of flesh and bone as if my brain is teasing me. someday i wish i would just wake up in a normal persons body, i dont ask to be a supermodel or chad i just want to be fucking normal and it pains me so much. my quality of life could have been much more if i had just looked decent. i am an emotional wreck these days. i saw a pic the other day on lookism of a dude burnt to a crisp and a bullet in his head and it only very slightly disturbed me. ive had to shovel so much shit in my life that my emotional threshold is though the roof. im like a plate shttered into 50 pieces because you can glue me back together but the cracks will never dissapear. i remember there was a time where if i made someone else laugh i would feel so much joy inside. thanks if you read all of this i could write more but i need to study for this education which will get me a job which will prolong my suffering in this world.
TL
R got picked on for the entire of igh school pretty much and only recently a couple of months ago realised how pathetic i look
year 9 was the year where i was pretty much traumatised from the teasing i received so i was really quiet and fucking hated school. unfortunately year 9 was also possibly the worst year of my life because of the teasing, talk about kicking the fucker when hes already down and licking his wounds. because i was quiet and had no friends, in one of my classes towards the end of the year, the teacher was supposed to tell off one of the kids for talking (some asian nerd but atleast he wasnt a mentalcel like me) but got my name confused for his. some twats thought that was funny and started to mock the teachers voice telling me to shut up even though i would sit there quietly doing my work. i felt so fucking pathetic because prior to that i knew i was worthless but that was just the nail in the coffin. every day was a prison sentence and i started questioning my life at that point for the first time. i remember during the holiday christmas/new year break being depressed af thinking about the next year.
this is the sad part. for my class next year, for whatever reason they decided to put the same people in next years class. yep, literally the entire class where i was teased the previous year was in my new one. to this day i think that mustve been some sort of sick fucking joke. not surprising the tormenting continued into the next year although by the end of the year i became so used to it that i just couldnt care anymore. my coping mechanism was trying to be friendly to the bullies which actually worked but i had to try so hard to force myself to like them it was utterly pathetic. i could go into much more detail about how shit the rest of my schooling was but i will spare the details. the worst part is some of these melts actually became school counsellors. also there was this one time where someone tried to throw an egg at me and another when i stacy pushed my papers off the desk when i didnt say anything. but again im not going to go into detail into individual events.
for the past few years where ive tried to recover from the teasing i tried to convince myself it was only because i was shy and needed to be more outgoing jfl. im not that naive anymore i know its because im utter genetic sewage and people already have made up their mind on how theyre going to treat me before i even open my mouth. recently all of a sudden i became depressed about my looks and just the sight of my funny subhuman looking head drowns my heart. i also realised i just visually look like shit when i had to quit my first ever job because my coworkers were twice my size and giving me shit. its a shame they had to be such toxic pricks because ive barely made any money since and i didnt dislike the job only the cunts i had to work with. im a big fan of football (soccer) and honestly its one of the only reasons why i havnt necked myself yet, that and because im not a fucking puss and can handle my own shit. even when im playing i see the shit that people like me exclusively get like some cunt whinging for me to pass the ball but when some way better looking dude doesnt pass theyre quite as a fucking church mouse. people will onlt give me shit because im non threatening. honestly, swear on mike mew if some cunt has a go at me again ill walk up to him and bite him in the throat, deadass. he can beat my face to a pulp i clearly dont have any respect for my face anyway so what have i got to lose. i dont even care about women and sex i just want to be respected by my own gender and society in general. thats what the media doesnt understand about incels. sometimes its like i get deja vu of what its like to experience the world in another persons body and it hurts me so much that i have to experience it in this shitty husk of flesh and bone as if my brain is teasing me. someday i wish i would just wake up in a normal persons body, i dont ask to be a supermodel or chad i just want to be fucking normal and it pains me so much. my quality of life could have been much more if i had just looked decent. i am an emotional wreck these days. i saw a pic the other day on lookism of a dude burnt to a crisp and a bullet in his head and it only very slightly disturbed me. ive had to shovel so much shit in my life that my emotional threshold is though the roof. im like a plate shttered into 50 pieces because you can glue me back together but the cracks will never dissapear. i remember there was a time where if i made someone else laugh i would feel so much joy inside. thanks if you read all of this i could write more but i need to study for this education which will get me a job which will prolong my suffering in this world.
TL
R got picked on for the entire of igh school pretty much and only recently a couple of months ago realised how pathetic i look
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