I really wanted to get this off my chest, kept it a secret for a long time.
You all know my mindset and that I'm absolutely not willing to interact with anyone except colleagues or people I am.forced to interact with, other than that, it's done and I truly don't want to. People zap the life energy out of me.
And yes every now and then, I often rant about how 'most women are degenerate sluts' and 'they would have been deemed as whores in Victorian times' etc....
but there is only one woman I make an exception for.
One that lives in my heart for quiet a while already, and I feel a connection to her even though she is already Dead (she lived in the 2nd world war). I feel a connection cause we share the same ancestry, and I'm very good at picking up the energy. My intuition is on point, and most women feel repulsive to me cause they reek of degeneracy, I feel deeply repulsed by their slutty behavior, I think it's cause that's my self defense mechanism kicking in, my ancient system warning me:
'she is not safe to bond with, she is a whore, remove yourself from that situation'.
But with this woman (she is German by the way and I'm Dutch), I don't feel that at all. This is genuinely the only one I feel a pull for, the only one who I feel safe to open up to, but she's dead and only exists in a black/white photograph. Matter of fact, when I left this forum to focus on myself and detach further from this world, I kept her photograph close and it pulled me through difficult times. After a long day, after my routine, when I laid in bed, when I was tired etc, I used the time to look at her photograph.
This is the only woman I would wake up for every day, the only woman who I would show my body to and how hard I worked to maintain myself in a healthy physical condition..... compare that with today's environment where everyone is polygamous.. I feel so detached, I feel as if I dont belong in todays culture.
This woman has everything I desire.
We both come from the same race, that's also why I feel a connection to her.
She was a real woman who spoke the same language as me, that amplifies the effect on my mental space even more. There would be no barriers, no second guessing just everything flowing perfectly like nature intended. Sadly, that's all a wish. That's why I often cope with stuff like time travel, conspiracy theories, CERN etc. Cause I'm not ready to let this go, I wish I could time travel right to the 30's and live/die so I wouldn't have to deal with today's mess of a culture. But deep i side me, I know it's all a wish.
You all know my mindset and that I'm absolutely not willing to interact with anyone except colleagues or people I am.forced to interact with, other than that, it's done and I truly don't want to. People zap the life energy out of me.
And yes every now and then, I often rant about how 'most women are degenerate sluts' and 'they would have been deemed as whores in Victorian times' etc....
but there is only one woman I make an exception for.
One that lives in my heart for quiet a while already, and I feel a connection to her even though she is already Dead (she lived in the 2nd world war). I feel a connection cause we share the same ancestry, and I'm very good at picking up the energy. My intuition is on point, and most women feel repulsive to me cause they reek of degeneracy, I feel deeply repulsed by their slutty behavior, I think it's cause that's my self defense mechanism kicking in, my ancient system warning me:
'she is not safe to bond with, she is a whore, remove yourself from that situation'.
But with this woman (she is German by the way and I'm Dutch), I don't feel that at all. This is genuinely the only one I feel a pull for, the only one who I feel safe to open up to, but she's dead and only exists in a black/white photograph. Matter of fact, when I left this forum to focus on myself and detach further from this world, I kept her photograph close and it pulled me through difficult times. After a long day, after my routine, when I laid in bed, when I was tired etc, I used the time to look at her photograph.
This is the only woman I would wake up for every day, the only woman who I would show my body to and how hard I worked to maintain myself in a healthy physical condition..... compare that with today's environment where everyone is polygamous.. I feel so detached, I feel as if I dont belong in todays culture.
This woman has everything I desire.
We both come from the same race, that's also why I feel a connection to her.
She was a real woman who spoke the same language as me, that amplifies the effect on my mental space even more. There would be no barriers, no second guessing just everything flowing perfectly like nature intended. Sadly, that's all a wish. That's why I often cope with stuff like time travel, conspiracy theories, CERN etc. Cause I'm not ready to let this go, I wish I could time travel right to the 30's and live/die so I wouldn't have to deal with today's mess of a culture. But deep i side me, I know it's all a wish.
You and me both, man
