Stupid autistic awkward clown. Nobody likes you. You’re a freak. Everybody uses you as a pawn and then disposes you. Nobody wants to build a deeper relationship with you. You’re an empty, hollow person. But it’s not your fault. You’re just not built for people. You were born this way. Everybody just wants to use you for something.
Environmentally and genetically you were already fucked. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault people treated you like this. You’re invisible. Nobody wants to hear what you have to say. You’re only the invisible, androgynous observer, not polarising in the slightest. Unnoticed by everyone. Too socially retarded to interact. The epitome of being invisible.
Nobody listens to what you say. Everybody talks over you. You’re not even an entity in people’s eyes. You can’t change your personality. Otherwise it will just be cringe and out of character. Too forced and inauthentic. More like a character. And nobody can play a character forever. You’re not even a real person. You’re more of a subhuman. Also you’re ugly.
People ignore you for a very good reason, they see your innate maladaptive behaviours that is non NT. primally, this disgusts and freaks people out. “School shooter vibes” as they say. My very existence is unacknowledged in real life. It’s only acknowledged when people need something practical. Nothing emotional, intimate or anything.
Nobody ever thought of “changing their personality”, they just lived life as they were. By genetics, you were the odd one out. You couldn’t adapt to NTism properly. So you had to suffer the consequences.
You’ve never made a pussy wet. No girl has ever fantasied about you. You’re a non entity. Nobody ever even thinks about you.
You can’t “fake it till you make it”. Being sub NT instantly gives people uncanny valley vibes. Too non NT for the NTs but too NT for the non NTs. When your whole personality was shaped by how you were treated and your genetic traits, there’s very very little to do. Your efforts will have a negligible effect in this regard.
You got to the point of standing at the edge of a cliff. You just got dragged into a psych ward. Put on “antidepression” pills that just fucked up my body and mind beyond repair.
You were cursed with an ugly voice
Cursed with ugly looks
Cursed by the environment you grew up in
Cursed by your autism
Cursed by your traumas
Cursed by PSSD and your lack of courage to die.
From the moment you were born, there was something wrong with you. No amount of free will would’ve changed 70% of the things that happened in my life.
Everything was just a reaction to my disgusting, odd pheno. Everybody sees you as a joke. Nobody ever took you seriously as a person. The butt of every joke you were.
You missed out on life. You weren’t even living. You were just slowly rotting and dying by the second in painful self awareness.
You’re at a fork in the road. There’s two paths you can take. End your misery now, or cope your way through. But be warned, all copes have their end.
You’re forever a ghost, whether dead or alive.
You missed out on:
When you talk to people, they can see past the social mask you've built over the years. The mask you've built to protect yourself from being hurt more by people. Eventually, they see through the cracks and they know how you are truly like deep down. A sad, hollow fuckup. Your face says everything. All those years of suffering you lived through, and you thought it wouldn't show in your face and your stiff, tensed up body? Most communication happens without words.
Sure you can wageslave sure you can looksmaxx but in the end what does it all really mean? You never met your developmental milestones. The things that are supposed to define and be the foundation of a good life. How can you build a castle with no foundations?
Trauma, life experiences and your early years stay with you forever.
Environmentally and genetically you were already fucked. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault people treated you like this. You’re invisible. Nobody wants to hear what you have to say. You’re only the invisible, androgynous observer, not polarising in the slightest. Unnoticed by everyone. Too socially retarded to interact. The epitome of being invisible.
Nobody listens to what you say. Everybody talks over you. You’re not even an entity in people’s eyes. You can’t change your personality. Otherwise it will just be cringe and out of character. Too forced and inauthentic. More like a character. And nobody can play a character forever. You’re not even a real person. You’re more of a subhuman. Also you’re ugly.
People ignore you for a very good reason, they see your innate maladaptive behaviours that is non NT. primally, this disgusts and freaks people out. “School shooter vibes” as they say. My very existence is unacknowledged in real life. It’s only acknowledged when people need something practical. Nothing emotional, intimate or anything.
Nobody ever thought of “changing their personality”, they just lived life as they were. By genetics, you were the odd one out. You couldn’t adapt to NTism properly. So you had to suffer the consequences.
You’ve never made a pussy wet. No girl has ever fantasied about you. You’re a non entity. Nobody ever even thinks about you.
You can’t “fake it till you make it”. Being sub NT instantly gives people uncanny valley vibes. Too non NT for the NTs but too NT for the non NTs. When your whole personality was shaped by how you were treated and your genetic traits, there’s very very little to do. Your efforts will have a negligible effect in this regard.
You got to the point of standing at the edge of a cliff. You just got dragged into a psych ward. Put on “antidepression” pills that just fucked up my body and mind beyond repair.
You were cursed with an ugly voice
Cursed with ugly looks
Cursed by the environment you grew up in
Cursed by your autism
Cursed by your traumas
Cursed by PSSD and your lack of courage to die.
From the moment you were born, there was something wrong with you. No amount of free will would’ve changed 70% of the things that happened in my life.
Everything was just a reaction to my disgusting, odd pheno. Everybody sees you as a joke. Nobody ever took you seriously as a person. The butt of every joke you were.
You missed out on life. You weren’t even living. You were just slowly rotting and dying by the second in painful self awareness.
You’re at a fork in the road. There’s two paths you can take. End your misery now, or cope your way through. But be warned, all copes have their end.
You’re forever a ghost, whether dead or alive.
You missed out on:
- having a genuine social circle
- Teen love
- Having a girlfriend
- Having a loving, healthy minded family
- Being wanted, loved and appreciated in real life.
- School life
- College life
- University life
- Partying
- Going over to a girl’s place
- Being genuinely wanted as a person in real life.
- High school popularity
- Workplace shenanigans
- Meeting new people who seem genuinely interested, attracted and intrigued in me.
- Making good memories with friends in real life.
When you talk to people, they can see past the social mask you've built over the years. The mask you've built to protect yourself from being hurt more by people. Eventually, they see through the cracks and they know how you are truly like deep down. A sad, hollow fuckup. Your face says everything. All those years of suffering you lived through, and you thought it wouldn't show in your face and your stiff, tensed up body? Most communication happens without words.
Sure you can wageslave sure you can looksmaxx but in the end what does it all really mean? You never met your developmental milestones. The things that are supposed to define and be the foundation of a good life. How can you build a castle with no foundations?
Trauma, life experiences and your early years stay with you forever.
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