Last year a sunk to a new low and asked my mom to help find a woman. Mind you I not a currycel or a sandcel so I knew she couldn’t pull some arranged marriage shit but my mom is a loudmouth Puerto Rican so she she has a bunch of Shaniqua friends to network with. I figured at bare minimum I’d be able to go on a shitty date with one these chicks and ascend through pity sex. Obviously not a great way to ascend but it was getting to a point where khhving was really impacting my mental health. There were days were I didn’t even want to leave the house. I felt that I was walk nude. That I was hyper vulnerable when I was at work or on the street. That people could tell that I wasn’t human, just foreign species piloting a flesh suit.
Anyway she said she was on the case but nothing came from it. She spoke to some girls but they were either taken, single mothers, or were in on again off again relationships with drug dealers niggas. I wanted some results before I turned 27 but my birthday came and went and nothing happened. Recently though my anxiety and depression has skyrocketed, to the point where I almost wanna cry in public. I feel way more nervous now and I stay up at night with the un -fed hunger of female physical touch and intimacy. I told my mother this yesterday and at first she seemed really understanding and concerned. She listened intently and then told me that I should look into antidepressants ( shitty but she’s on them and she thinks they work) and then yells at me to pray.
To FUCKING PRAY. I questioned this and ask if she’s serious. She angrily tells me that it’s obvious god delivers all things says I’m and idiot for not praying. Now for slight context, spic and niggers are extremely religious and my mom knows that I’m an atheist (not the amazing atheist variety but I just doubt God is real.)
When she told to pray I was so filled disbelief and hatred that I almost broke down crying. I felt betrayed and she saw the anguish in my face and whatever non-primitive fragment of humanity was activated and relented a bit and told me that it will be alright. It was too late though. I said that her idea was fucking stupid and likened praying to god for a woman to when a terminally ill patient gets last rites. You’re just giving up at that point. That sunk in with her and she was quiet for a second. She then asked what would she want me to do if the roles were reversed and I was trying to help my incel mom (weird I know). I told her I would try to physically introduce her to my friends group, not for an immediate hookup but to network with them. I would also let them know to go very easy on her since she (me) is borderline line autistic and to work with her. She nodded her head and told me she would do just that. I Asked really and she repeated her approval. So more misery to incoming I guess.
Anyway she said she was on the case but nothing came from it. She spoke to some girls but they were either taken, single mothers, or were in on again off again relationships with drug dealers niggas. I wanted some results before I turned 27 but my birthday came and went and nothing happened. Recently though my anxiety and depression has skyrocketed, to the point where I almost wanna cry in public. I feel way more nervous now and I stay up at night with the un -fed hunger of female physical touch and intimacy. I told my mother this yesterday and at first she seemed really understanding and concerned. She listened intently and then told me that I should look into antidepressants ( shitty but she’s on them and she thinks they work) and then yells at me to pray.
To FUCKING PRAY. I questioned this and ask if she’s serious. She angrily tells me that it’s obvious god delivers all things says I’m and idiot for not praying. Now for slight context, spic and niggers are extremely religious and my mom knows that I’m an atheist (not the amazing atheist variety but I just doubt God is real.)
When she told to pray I was so filled disbelief and hatred that I almost broke down crying. I felt betrayed and she saw the anguish in my face and whatever non-primitive fragment of humanity was activated and relented a bit and told me that it will be alright. It was too late though. I said that her idea was fucking stupid and likened praying to god for a woman to when a terminally ill patient gets last rites. You’re just giving up at that point. That sunk in with her and she was quiet for a second. She then asked what would she want me to do if the roles were reversed and I was trying to help my incel mom (weird I know). I told her I would try to physically introduce her to my friends group, not for an immediate hookup but to network with them. I would also let them know to go very easy on her since she (me) is borderline line autistic and to work with her. She nodded her head and told me she would do just that. I Asked really and she repeated her approval. So more misery to incoming I guess.
