I have always been the fool, the jester, putting a smile on others faces at the expense of me suffering. I was always a jester, sometimes without even realizing it. I saw people laugh, but they never laughed with me; they laughed at me. I was always considered funny, a stupid entertainer at best. Much as I can remember, even since kindergarten, I was always a clown. Getting in trouble over and over again. Having the principal meet with my parents because of my behavior. I always got myself into trouble to making others laugh. In 5th and 6th grade, I was the jester again. Doing things no other kid dared to do built my reputation off being funny. People I considered friends were nothing more than scumbags using me for their own entertainment. Their interactions with me made me feel less lonely and like somebody cared about me. I was wrong; I always acted like I was dumb and not intelligent. Acting like a autistic kid for laughs. Not doing my assingments so those around me would laugh. I did shit nobody would imagine. I talked about jerking off to people, it made them laugh so much. But everyone knew I was weird. They distanced themselves towards me. The jester quality lives within me. I am nothing more than a loser clown who has to entertain those. I always got myself in trouble for friends, and here I am, lonely and all alone. Nobody was my friend. I was blinded instead. Never play the jester, It is a brutal thing. It will lead you nowhere except make you suffer more. I hope everyone got a good laugh at me. One day ill be gone anyway. I hope those around me felt entertained.
