Q
I'll start by listing some events that should have made stop porn/fapping
1- I started deeply in porn in 8th grade, i had a tablet . I watched a lot porn and fapped when there was no one at home. The screen of my tablet was broken. My dad fixed it . When i unlocked the table i found it on a porn website. I am sure the person who was fixing it , and my father tested the tablet to see if everything was normal. So they knew my secret.
2- At this time , my memory was quite good. When i see a big ass girl in my neighborhood . I could remember her body and fap on her later. I close my toilet door. I am fapping while watching my dick through the doorknob (it made my dick looked bigger). One day my brother opened the door suddenly. I quickly grap my pant and go near the bedroom talking to him while i was on my knee so he won't see my booner. I praised him to not tell this to my parents.
3- One day my cousin had my phone ,she went to my gallery .She saw an ass thumbnail and opened it. It was a video of Lela Star .She was very shocked ,she asked me if i had gf. I told her 'no'. I was so ashamed...
4- In my cousin birthday , she was with her friend ,her sister. i was there with my brother and my cousin (he was taking picture for her).
her sister asked my phone to take some snap. I gave her my phone . It was time to see them. I had to lie telling her. There's some things i am fixing on the phone. I quickly move away to delete all my porns who were in different location. I had no time to make this complex decision
5- In 2017 i came to usa for the first time for hollidays ,i stayed in my aunt's house . I thought i locked the door but it wasn't locked . I was fapping with my dick on the desk. My aunt's suddenly open the door . I quickly grabbed my pants. I don't know if she saw me
6- One day in college i went to the restroom and left my phone charging near my friends. Many porn notifications from telegram appeared on my lockscreen . All my friends saw them
7- I slept in my living room when i was in my home country . Because i was alone i fapped whenever i wanted. One night they gave the electricity my brother was coming to play ps4 and caught me fapping .He didn't say a word. I continued for 1 minute and stopped.
8- One day i was searching in my pc a movie to transfer to my phone's brother. I was quickly entering directories . He saw all my porn
9- One day after a shower i was edging ,my mother appeared near my window. In the angle i was .I am not sure if she caught me . But when i go to the window and reimagined the scene . I realized she should have saw me.
The resolution i took
1- I tried to unfollow all the big ass white girl i was heavily addicted to on instagram
2- mutliple times i deleted all porn on my pc (even though there's this girl i didn't delete her folder)
3- I tried leaving all the subreddit, telegram channel , all bookmarks ,deleted my onlyfans account , deleted all pictures/videos on my phone.
4- I stopped using cacao grease and snake oil to enlarge my dick ( i realized how small i was when watching bbc porn). Whenever i was using those products. I fapped even though it was not my plan.
Where i am now
My phone still has some nudity, my pc has a lot of porn . I bought an external drive to stock more porn. I create many google drive ,mega account to stock porn. I am in more telegram group ,discord server than before. I have many videos saved in my erome , pornhub account. But i fapped less because i have less time (i was more focused in my second college because it was expensive). Compared to when i was crazy waking up at 11pm to buy this high speed plan to download high quality videos.
Conclusion & resolution
When you're doing nofap , you're weaker. When i used to go watching volleyball girls in my college ( in my home country).Seeing them with short was enough to make me hard. Everything made me hard. When they're bending it was suifuel.
I had many temptations when (2022-2023) i was working circuits and algebra with this short big ass girl. when she's on the board. I was contemplating her huge round ass.
I was quite satisfied when i fapped 3 times in january 2024, I thought i could do more. I relapsed so hard ,when i started going to planet fitness. I can't resist those big ass / boob white/latina girl. I am suffering too much in this gym.
Nofap should be considered as a temporary goal. You can't do it for a long time. I only succed it less than 3 times . I accepted fapping is necessary. Even though when i pray i asked God if he gives me a gf i won't fap again.
The harder you try nofap the more you'll fap. You'll be more frustrate, more horny , more depressed. After a workout in planet fitness .I arrived at home and searched for big ass gym girl ( i am subsribed to a lot on social media and onlyfans) to compensate for what i can't have. All those led me to fap more.
1- I started deeply in porn in 8th grade, i had a tablet . I watched a lot porn and fapped when there was no one at home. The screen of my tablet was broken. My dad fixed it . When i unlocked the table i found it on a porn website. I am sure the person who was fixing it , and my father tested the tablet to see if everything was normal. So they knew my secret.
2- At this time , my memory was quite good. When i see a big ass girl in my neighborhood . I could remember her body and fap on her later. I close my toilet door. I am fapping while watching my dick through the doorknob (it made my dick looked bigger). One day my brother opened the door suddenly. I quickly grap my pant and go near the bedroom talking to him while i was on my knee so he won't see my booner. I praised him to not tell this to my parents.
3- One day my cousin had my phone ,she went to my gallery .She saw an ass thumbnail and opened it. It was a video of Lela Star .She was very shocked ,she asked me if i had gf. I told her 'no'. I was so ashamed...
4- In my cousin birthday , she was with her friend ,her sister. i was there with my brother and my cousin (he was taking picture for her).
her sister asked my phone to take some snap. I gave her my phone . It was time to see them. I had to lie telling her. There's some things i am fixing on the phone. I quickly move away to delete all my porns who were in different location. I had no time to make this complex decision
5- In 2017 i came to usa for the first time for hollidays ,i stayed in my aunt's house . I thought i locked the door but it wasn't locked . I was fapping with my dick on the desk. My aunt's suddenly open the door . I quickly grabbed my pants. I don't know if she saw me
6- One day in college i went to the restroom and left my phone charging near my friends. Many porn notifications from telegram appeared on my lockscreen . All my friends saw them
7- I slept in my living room when i was in my home country . Because i was alone i fapped whenever i wanted. One night they gave the electricity my brother was coming to play ps4 and caught me fapping .He didn't say a word. I continued for 1 minute and stopped.
8- One day i was searching in my pc a movie to transfer to my phone's brother. I was quickly entering directories . He saw all my porn
9- One day after a shower i was edging ,my mother appeared near my window. In the angle i was .I am not sure if she caught me . But when i go to the window and reimagined the scene . I realized she should have saw me.
The resolution i took
1- I tried to unfollow all the big ass white girl i was heavily addicted to on instagram
2- mutliple times i deleted all porn on my pc (even though there's this girl i didn't delete her folder)
3- I tried leaving all the subreddit, telegram channel , all bookmarks ,deleted my onlyfans account , deleted all pictures/videos on my phone.
4- I stopped using cacao grease and snake oil to enlarge my dick ( i realized how small i was when watching bbc porn). Whenever i was using those products. I fapped even though it was not my plan.
Where i am now
My phone still has some nudity, my pc has a lot of porn . I bought an external drive to stock more porn. I create many google drive ,mega account to stock porn. I am in more telegram group ,discord server than before. I have many videos saved in my erome , pornhub account. But i fapped less because i have less time (i was more focused in my second college because it was expensive). Compared to when i was crazy waking up at 11pm to buy this high speed plan to download high quality videos.
Conclusion & resolution
When you're doing nofap , you're weaker. When i used to go watching volleyball girls in my college ( in my home country).Seeing them with short was enough to make me hard. Everything made me hard. When they're bending it was suifuel.
I had many temptations when (2022-2023) i was working circuits and algebra with this short big ass girl. when she's on the board. I was contemplating her huge round ass.
I was quite satisfied when i fapped 3 times in january 2024, I thought i could do more. I relapsed so hard ,when i started going to planet fitness. I can't resist those big ass / boob white/latina girl. I am suffering too much in this gym.
Nofap should be considered as a temporary goal. You can't do it for a long time. I only succed it less than 3 times . I accepted fapping is necessary. Even though when i pray i asked God if he gives me a gf i won't fap again.
The harder you try nofap the more you'll fap. You'll be more frustrate, more horny , more depressed. After a workout in planet fitness .I arrived at home and searched for big ass gym girl ( i am subsribed to a lot on social media and onlyfans) to compensate for what i can't have. All those led me to fap more.
