You will have an idea of who she is from this:
https://incels.is/threads/im-having-a-former-onenitis-reoccurring-in-my-dreams.95428/
Well the story is that she had a hot looking pretty boy type boyfriend on the football team and I noticed she was always alone and fell depressed after the breakup and all the way up to today she wanted to die now today she attempted it and I feel so bad.
Not because I'm a cuck but because when I take a step back I realize that I will never have a girl wondering where I'm at or wanting to talk to me, I will never have a girl hug against my arm when she feels lonely, I'll never have her come to watch movies with me, I never even have her come to a amusement park with me let alone have any girl cry because I left her and am gone and she does feel this way about him but when it's down to me I'll will always be the one doing nothing but transactional meetups at the very best, by her I was always told to kill myself and I came to cry at times in the back of whatever building at lunch and I hid my sadness pretty well when she met her ex boyfriend but on valentines day that year I felt so aimless and empty. One time she kept giving me looks so i splashed some water on her face and two weeks later she was in the back of a line at a field trip to a zoo in San Diego talking to a friend about me me:
Friend: why does he always look at girls and never talks to them?
Her: because staring is all he can do he knows he cant get anything *tehee*
Him: so true hahah.
Also early that day she said at the zoo she'd love to throw me into the lions for no fucking reason.
I no longer cared about her but everything she says hit home to me regardless and ever since i lost my interests with her two years ago I felt nothing but meaninglessness and a certainty that everything I did was just baseless day in and day out without any purpose or a sense of wanting anything.
I want nothing now, nothing seems to interest me anymore I hardly ever smile or really have a true connection with anyone in a way she was my only way out of this inner void I two had years ago and still have today and boy was I wrong in ever hoping I could ever amount to being of a girls personal importance let alone being anything big or successful.
All this comes as the biggest slap in my face because if anyone should have killed themselves it was me and no one would remember who I was because I'm that highly functional autistic kid that walks around in the hallways alone, she would have half the people ar her school that would cry at her vigil but me no one would care other than my parents and family which is the default and maybe the school having a forced memorial but when she comes back next week she will be getting hugs and love all the time and that's ok but my problem is I just wish that was me to with people giving a shit if i actually fucking succeed in killing myself by hanging from a water tower.
On top of that all at one point I'd give everything away to just be with her that was my purpose and thats all I ever wanted in my worthless life.
Bottom line:
No matter how hurt you feel your problems could never amount to hers in everyone else's eyes if you were raped in a cell and killed yourself no one could ever care compared to when a girl posts an update on her Facebook saying sad shit about her ex boyfriend.
https://incels.is/threads/im-having-a-former-onenitis-reoccurring-in-my-dreams.95428/
Well the story is that she had a hot looking pretty boy type boyfriend on the football team and I noticed she was always alone and fell depressed after the breakup and all the way up to today she wanted to die now today she attempted it and I feel so bad.
Not because I'm a cuck but because when I take a step back I realize that I will never have a girl wondering where I'm at or wanting to talk to me, I will never have a girl hug against my arm when she feels lonely, I'll never have her come to watch movies with me, I never even have her come to a amusement park with me let alone have any girl cry because I left her and am gone and she does feel this way about him but when it's down to me I'll will always be the one doing nothing but transactional meetups at the very best, by her I was always told to kill myself and I came to cry at times in the back of whatever building at lunch and I hid my sadness pretty well when she met her ex boyfriend but on valentines day that year I felt so aimless and empty. One time she kept giving me looks so i splashed some water on her face and two weeks later she was in the back of a line at a field trip to a zoo in San Diego talking to a friend about me me:
Friend: why does he always look at girls and never talks to them?
Her: because staring is all he can do he knows he cant get anything *tehee*
Him: so true hahah.
Also early that day she said at the zoo she'd love to throw me into the lions for no fucking reason.
I no longer cared about her but everything she says hit home to me regardless and ever since i lost my interests with her two years ago I felt nothing but meaninglessness and a certainty that everything I did was just baseless day in and day out without any purpose or a sense of wanting anything.
I want nothing now, nothing seems to interest me anymore I hardly ever smile or really have a true connection with anyone in a way she was my only way out of this inner void I two had years ago and still have today and boy was I wrong in ever hoping I could ever amount to being of a girls personal importance let alone being anything big or successful.
All this comes as the biggest slap in my face because if anyone should have killed themselves it was me and no one would remember who I was because I'm that highly functional autistic kid that walks around in the hallways alone, she would have half the people ar her school that would cry at her vigil but me no one would care other than my parents and family which is the default and maybe the school having a forced memorial but when she comes back next week she will be getting hugs and love all the time and that's ok but my problem is I just wish that was me to with people giving a shit if i actually fucking succeed in killing myself by hanging from a water tower.
On top of that all at one point I'd give everything away to just be with her that was my purpose and thats all I ever wanted in my worthless life.
Bottom line:
No matter how hurt you feel your problems could never amount to hers in everyone else's eyes if you were raped in a cell and killed yourself no one could ever care compared to when a girl posts an update on her Facebook saying sad shit about her ex boyfriend.
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