This is probably going to be a long-ish post with many typos and grammatical errors. Please forgive me for those. Tl;Dr at the end.
I shall begin this post by giving just a little bit of backstory. I used to be a user of this website a while back. I then quit using it. I quit way before meeting my girlfriend, who is now my ex.
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I remember feeling distinctly sad on January 1st 2022, midnight. I was watching the fireworks from my bedroom window, drinking mint liqueur by myself, in my gaming chair, with the door closed. The next day I was supposed to go to my other house with my family, and I was feeling depressed. I felt deeply alone, and my loneliness became extremely disturbing once I realized that ahead of me waited a year full of more of the same. I dreaded the fact that it was a new year, and I was still all alone, and would be soon turning 19. I said to myself: "I'll kill myself this year."
The next day, January the 2nd, we went to our other house, my parents and I. I don't remember much about that day, except that I thought: "Hey, since I'm in another city, I might as well give Tinder a try." So I downloaded it, made an account, put on some pictures, made a description boasting my the fact that I'm a polyglot, and started swiping. That's when I came across this cute 7/10 called Ana Júlia (yes, you bitch, I don't know if you'll ever read this, but I hope you fucking do.) She had short hair, was thin, and had a cute face, with eyes that looked a bit asian. She liked rock music and gaming, so I swiped right, thinking she'd never match with me. The very nect day, she did.
And here's how our first conversation happened:
"I... I don't know how to talk to women. I only know how to play videogames".
"I... I don't know how to talk to attractive men"
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Well. We started talking all the time. And I was trying to not catch feelings for her, because I thought she might already have a boyfriend (and no woman had ever given me any attention like that, so I didn't want to fuck it up).
We eventually started playing videogames together, and it wasn't long until SHE said she felt something for me. That's when I said "fuck it" and went all in. Worst mistake of my life, but I didn't know it yet.
If you recall, I was certain I would commit suicide this year. Then this girl showed up, saying she loved me, and doing things I never thought anyone would do to me. I was happy. Truly happy. I thought I had made it.
And things were great, until the first red flag. When I asked her to make things official, she backed off. She said something along the lines of "I'm not ready to make it official yet. You're wonderful, really, just... Just wait for me just a little longer. It'll be so worth it."
I thought it couldn't be too bad. But then it started grinding my gears. She would say she loved me, but then I'd have to remind myself that she wasn't, in fact, my girlfriend. So I asked her one day what I was to her. And she said "We're half-dating". I was pissed, and told her to fuck off if she didn't want to have me as a boyfriend. She apologized, and gave in. That was my second biggest mistake. Making her give in. It only lasted a single month after this. We fought all the time over the stupidest things, and she would always casually mention her ex who, interestingly, looks a bit like me.
Until, one day, she complained about something that made me truly pissed (even more pissed than on the times she complained about the fact that I was too affectionate, or that I was too serious about having a relationship.) She complained that I, who was 18 at the time, didn't have a job and only went to college.
I told her I'm from a family with a VERY good financial situation, and that I didn't need a job for the time being. Instead of accepting it, she kept complaining. Until one day I exploded, and said everything I had to say.
It's been 8 months, more or less. I'm alright nowadays. She's probably fucking with some other guy. I don't know.
What I learned from this experience is that women aren't trustworthy, and even if they say they love you, they don't really do. It's all an act. Stop being so obsessed about having a girlfriend. It could be the worst experience of your life.
Tl;Dr: My ex girlfriend, whom I met on tinder, was a bitch who never loved me. The same might be true for others here who might eventually get into a relationship.
