piplummy
Greycel
★
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2024
- Posts
- 17
I was born blunt, but the society I born in requires people to be guile when grow up, so I’m viewed as more childish than peers. Dad afraid I therefore cannot bring wealth and reputation to him on time, so he always criticizes me on that.
Therefore, at first I tried to pull myself to maturity against my inborn nature and refused to defer any study. But finally I got mocked by everyone as childish, and I chose unsuitable study path which wasted more time. I am not tolerated to be late-mature because I’ll be judged as lazy and stupid so I have to spend more time to do the same thing inefficiently. I therefore lose all confidence. To avoid being mocked again, I conceal myself, refuse to interact with anyone, and become more childish day by day.
Now I’m old. I’m ashamed of my elderliness in front of anyone younger. I can only talk to everyone older than me because there is an excuse that I’m still young so I haven’t been successful yet. But everyone older than me has already found a partner, so I have no chance to ascend now.
I always feel I’m already the oldest person in the world. But I still have nothing to be proud of. I lack a sexual partner, a degree I’m interested in, a job I can do without vomiting every single second. Even I get everything I want next second, I would still be mocked by everyone as getting these later than them, so it is meaningless. I even feel my life will reach final point tomorrow with “loser” written on my graveyard.
Therefore, at first I tried to pull myself to maturity against my inborn nature and refused to defer any study. But finally I got mocked by everyone as childish, and I chose unsuitable study path which wasted more time. I am not tolerated to be late-mature because I’ll be judged as lazy and stupid so I have to spend more time to do the same thing inefficiently. I therefore lose all confidence. To avoid being mocked again, I conceal myself, refuse to interact with anyone, and become more childish day by day.
Now I’m old. I’m ashamed of my elderliness in front of anyone younger. I can only talk to everyone older than me because there is an excuse that I’m still young so I haven’t been successful yet. But everyone older than me has already found a partner, so I have no chance to ascend now.
I always feel I’m already the oldest person in the world. But I still have nothing to be proud of. I lack a sexual partner, a degree I’m interested in, a job I can do without vomiting every single second. Even I get everything I want next second, I would still be mocked by everyone as getting these later than them, so it is meaningless. I even feel my life will reach final point tomorrow with “loser” written on my graveyard.