My dad is born in the late 50's and has been very handsome his entire life (he looks a bit like Pierce Brosnan, thanks to genetic recombination, I don't). He was seen as somewhat of a Casanova in his town, something that pains me everyday.
Anyway, he just can't seem to understand why I can't get girls. He tells me to: "get out there". His mindset is stuck in a 60/70's utopia where a bunch of sociable singles would just gather in parks, parking lots, by the lake, and make acquaintes (which would inevitably lead to romance). This just isn't the way of the world anymore, the spontaneity is gone. The hunger to meet new people is gone. It's all online now of course.
The biggest factor however, is how many faces the average person is exposed to on a daily basis today. In the 70's, seeing a new face from another friend group was a novelty, and the person was humanised. Now, you can swipe Tinder and see 200 new faces in half an hour and have no connection to them at all. A girl seeing a new guy rocking up on a bike to the lake in 1972 could be exciting, and even if he wasn't a Chad, she would at least give him the time of day were he to approach. Today, she has matched with 10 8/10s before her Starbucks breakfast and any guy below that she sees during the rest of her day isn't even considered human.
There is no avenue for the modern guy to "get out there". Nightclubs are just money pits that serve women's attention whoring and the chances of pulling are non-existent (unless you're Chad of course). The only thing that could save modern men is some sort of mass exodus from social media and some sort of push towards authentic socialization on a massive scale (and even then, incels would hardly be better off).
So I tell my dad that it's because I'm too ugly and of course he doesn't agree, and tells me that even if I were, he knew plenty of ugly guys who got laid in his youth. Yes maybe, if I were NT-maxxed, geomaxxed and niche-maxxed in 1969, I might have gotten a make-out session by a campfire with a low tier Flower Power Becky, but such conditions are a long lost dream. Think of the movie Grease, set in the 50's, where they all end up with their looksmatch because they all go around to different social settings as a group. Most men nowadays don't even have close friends. Back then, 'just showing' up was actually a strategy that could lead to something, even if you weren't a stud. The destruction that social media and dating apps have brought upon dating/romance cannot be understated. It will literally be our doom.
How do your parents approach your inceldom? Do you discuss it?
