S
strange_to_be
Recruit
★★★
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2017
- Posts
- 262
I have a tendency, that I think is rooted in my autism, to develop extremely strong oneitis that lasts for years. 3-6 years.
I first started feeling this way mid-way through high school. I had simpy blue pilled ideas. Then in my mid20s I started reading the red pill subreddit, which is essentially right about most things except that anyone can hit the 'top 20%'. And even if most people can hit the top 20%, say 67%, those from say 67%-50% have to do such a massive amount of work to get and stay there that it's simply ridiculous to ask most of them to do it. It's a dedication of 15 hours a week to health and fitness and nutrition. Moreover most of those that are genetically disadvantaged, or just mid, didn't develop the skills or networks when younger which just further lowers the chances that they will ever be in the 'top 20%'. And those that can aren't really going to be Chads, they're just going to be upper betas that have to work for everything all the time.
Still, TRP was nice because I've avoided a lot of bad embarassing behavior and learned to do my best to stay away and ignore women.
A few years ago I came into contact with a girl that I thought was beautiful, my type, intelligent, etc. She was also on all of the dating apps. I knew that I needed to bite the bullet on her and move on. I could see her trying to turn me into an orbiter, she had many, whilst she was going on dating apps and getting fucked by randos/on the cock carousel.
I think I might have been able to go 19th. After years of her getting cummed on by guys from Tinder, moving on to the next guy, back the previous guys, complaining and acting upset, dating losers who were 6'4'' and large framed, I really thought in her early 30s she would start to hit the wall and settle down with whichever beta orbiter had the best mixture of height and salary. Instead I just told her I wanted to see her romantically and then didn't speak to her again when she obfuscated to the declaration. She was far to busy managing her online dating accounts to consider me.
The reason why I call this 'Lifefuel' is because as much as I liked her, as much as me spending time with her actually made me like her more, which was actually counter to my spending time with most other women where I would be less interested in them, where the thought of spending more time with them seemed like a drain, and spending more time with her just set my heart aflutter, she was still a fucking cliche. Men are looking for love from women that they only give to Chad, and Chad doesn't want them. She was the most cliche female red-pill/black-pill caricature as far as her sexual behavior with men. She actively brought in beta-orbiters for attention and had an entirely separate subset of men from dating apps that she was sleeping with. When she got past 30, she found a balding reddit meme face (I googled her once recently and saw the wedding announcement/guy) who makes just over 6 figures that's safe, will give her money and children that she wants. I would bet my life's savings that they're divorced within 25 years. The idea of being jealous of the guy is absolutely absurd to me. I imagine to some that might sound like sour grapes, but it's true. He doesn't have her love or passion. He's just a business decision. I want Money. I want Children. I want someone I can keep around as long as I want them around. All the passion in her life/excitement/love has already been spent on online dating Chads. I wouldn't want to be in that guys position, and if I were I'd probably convince myself I was happy and got what I wanted. She gave what I wanted to men who told her to come over at 1am on Tuesday nights. It was never in the cards for me, and I don't have her, or similar, weighing my life down, using me as a salary supplement to pay for children, telling everyone what a great guy I was and that I totally wasn't her type but I won her over.
I first started feeling this way mid-way through high school. I had simpy blue pilled ideas. Then in my mid20s I started reading the red pill subreddit, which is essentially right about most things except that anyone can hit the 'top 20%'. And even if most people can hit the top 20%, say 67%, those from say 67%-50% have to do such a massive amount of work to get and stay there that it's simply ridiculous to ask most of them to do it. It's a dedication of 15 hours a week to health and fitness and nutrition. Moreover most of those that are genetically disadvantaged, or just mid, didn't develop the skills or networks when younger which just further lowers the chances that they will ever be in the 'top 20%'. And those that can aren't really going to be Chads, they're just going to be upper betas that have to work for everything all the time.
Still, TRP was nice because I've avoided a lot of bad embarassing behavior and learned to do my best to stay away and ignore women.
A few years ago I came into contact with a girl that I thought was beautiful, my type, intelligent, etc. She was also on all of the dating apps. I knew that I needed to bite the bullet on her and move on. I could see her trying to turn me into an orbiter, she had many, whilst she was going on dating apps and getting fucked by randos/on the cock carousel.
I think I might have been able to go 19th. After years of her getting cummed on by guys from Tinder, moving on to the next guy, back the previous guys, complaining and acting upset, dating losers who were 6'4'' and large framed, I really thought in her early 30s she would start to hit the wall and settle down with whichever beta orbiter had the best mixture of height and salary. Instead I just told her I wanted to see her romantically and then didn't speak to her again when she obfuscated to the declaration. She was far to busy managing her online dating accounts to consider me.
The reason why I call this 'Lifefuel' is because as much as I liked her, as much as me spending time with her actually made me like her more, which was actually counter to my spending time with most other women where I would be less interested in them, where the thought of spending more time with them seemed like a drain, and spending more time with her just set my heart aflutter, she was still a fucking cliche. Men are looking for love from women that they only give to Chad, and Chad doesn't want them. She was the most cliche female red-pill/black-pill caricature as far as her sexual behavior with men. She actively brought in beta-orbiters for attention and had an entirely separate subset of men from dating apps that she was sleeping with. When she got past 30, she found a balding reddit meme face (I googled her once recently and saw the wedding announcement/guy) who makes just over 6 figures that's safe, will give her money and children that she wants. I would bet my life's savings that they're divorced within 25 years. The idea of being jealous of the guy is absolutely absurd to me. I imagine to some that might sound like sour grapes, but it's true. He doesn't have her love or passion. He's just a business decision. I want Money. I want Children. I want someone I can keep around as long as I want them around. All the passion in her life/excitement/love has already been spent on online dating Chads. I wouldn't want to be in that guys position, and if I were I'd probably convince myself I was happy and got what I wanted. She gave what I wanted to men who told her to come over at 1am on Tuesday nights. It was never in the cards for me, and I don't have her, or similar, weighing my life down, using me as a salary supplement to pay for children, telling everyone what a great guy I was and that I totally wasn't her type but I won her over.