"fuck I'm really 27 and never even spoke to a girl longer than 30 seconds"
You're so stupid you don't realize this is a train of thought made by your mind that needs to be reality tested, the loose ends are causing you somatic distress as your body is warning there is something killing you. That's the function of pain.
So ask yourself, for each of those:
- Is this sentence hyperbolical or truthful? (if the former, state reality and don't feed your thoughts about it);
- Why do I place so much value on these concepts?;
- If that's so, then what can I do with my life based on those values that better my situation?
Neuroses are miscalibrated values, so finding all concepts you value the most (aka yourself) through those exercises vanquishes them.