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It's Over Mind of BlackLowLTN

BlackLowLtn

BlackLowLtn

tired weirdo
★★★★★
Joined
Oct 19, 2024
Posts
8,102
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4d 13h
Each and every moment I spend wallowing in despair makes me feel so utterly subhuman, everything I do makes me seem worse and worse. My existence itself is just so disgusting to me; struggling to even comprehend all my own mind in how suffocating it has been, utter trash down to the core.

None of my old hobbies work anymore, can’t try new hobbies anymore without getting frustrated, gym became routine/lost all spark to me, social life stale, mind fucked.

I’m not sure anymore what I should be doing, not even resting/attempting to do LDAR is enough for me, I just get frustrated by the lack of anything and eventually start doing all sorts again to distract myself from the void that is my mind.

Not even vicious thoughts, rage, contempt, depressive spirals; it’s just silent there. So silent and lonely I just can’t stand one second without “noise” filling my mind. At least work helps; a distraction that I’m forced to do is better than having a choice in the matter, otherwise I would’ve given up on it as well.

It’s dull. I can’t say it’s anything more but dull, I sometimes sit in my room and just stare at the ceiling for hours as it feels better than slugging through meaningless copes; my eyes have grown so heavy despite my sleep schedule being better, my body is growing weak despite the muscle, expressions utterly artificial in the mirror.

I’m tired man. It’s over, I just feel nothing towards most of life outside of the desire of a close connection, but I know I don’t deserve it either. I’m too pussy to kill myself, so I’ll just wait; I’ll either die by my own hands eventually or rot away.

Meh, life just sucks; nobody really cares either. I hope some members feel glad they at least got love from their parents growing up, they know they could always at least find comfort in them.

Maybe I should try alcohol? I’ve ironically never done it before, so it might help drown out sorrows, at least to the point of it not becoming an issue for others.
 
shut up inkie tldr
 
IMG 6805
 
Alcohol Is the best, i prefer beer but you can try anything
 
only nigger normies think ts abt sub5s none of us chose to be this way. inceldom is a product of our place in history and not a moral failing inherent to incels. either way for many of us it's cope til rope. :forcedsmile:
I just feel nothing towards most of life outside of the desire of a close connection, but I know I don’t deserve it either.
 
Each and every moment I spend wallowing in despair makes me feel so utterly subhuman
That's because you and I are subhumans. You need to understand that we may as well not exist in the minds of society. There is not a single person who would mourn for us if we were rounded up and killed off tomorrow. We are human beings in nothing but biology. Therefore, it's not surprising that anything you do leads to you realizing that fact—because it's true.

It’s dull. I can’t say it’s anything more but dull
And it will always remain that way. 'The monochrome of our world is endemic to who we are.'
 
only nigger normies think ts abt sub5s none of us chose to be this way. inceldom is a product of our place in history and not a moral failing inherent to incels. either way for many of us it's cope til rope. :forcedsmile:
tbh I was just talking about myself specifically, i don’t hold myself in much regards.
That's because you and I are subhumans. You need to understand that we may as well not exist in the minds of society. There is not a single person who would mourn for us if we were rounded up and killed off tomorrow. We are human beings in nothing but biology. Therefore, it's not surprising that anything you do leads to you realizing that fact—because it's true.


And it will always remain that way. 'The monochrome of our world is endemic to who we are.'
True. I suppose I just forget that fact once I distract myself enough until it stops working; see myself as a normal person in some way ‘in the moment’.
Funny, I expected myself to not fall into this sort of trap with how much I claim to be blackpilled, goes to show what an utter buffoon I am.

Alcohol Is the best, i prefer beer but you can try anything
I’ll try to get some in the supermarket, I’m not sure on my tolerance level so doing it at home would help.
 
Funny, I expected myself to not fall into this sort of trap with how much I claim to be blackpilled, goes to show what an utter buffoon I am.
You aren't a buffoon for it. The mind just instinctively tries to rationalize one's existence. With time, you'll eventually grow into being able to fully detach from the concept of your 'humanity' naturally. Don't be too harsh on yourself.
 

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