A chad friend of mine used this analogy the other day and I've never heard anything which describes the problems in the current dating market so accurately. I went out to a club with a few friends and him and he was talking to a couple of ugly girls and I said "why were you talking to them when you could get better?" and he replied "sometimes you just need to throw the keep net out and see what comes back. Sometimes you'll get a few small fish so you take them home to cook but now and again you'll get a whopper so you throw the small ones back and keep the big one". He said this as if it would be that easy for me to do too.
This is literally the cause of the problem. You see, men have always done this. And likewise women have only ever aimed for the specific men that they think they can get with, only waning when they realise, without fail, that they can't settle with them men inevitably pairing with their match or thereabouts through lack of choice. However years ago both were limited to the work environment and nights out to do this - small ponds. And years before that when women only worked in offices and men did manual labour and there were no mobile phones or internet they were limited further still.
So if a 5/10 woman went to a club back in the year 2000 for example and there was a 8+ guy there who was pairing up with a 8+ girl over her or the same thing was happening in college or school on a regular basis, that was her feedback on how good she is. And it was damn accurate. So she would then think "okay maybe I am not that great but I'm still decent so I'll go for decent looking guys (7s)". Then she sees all the 7s getting with the 7 girls in the club. Maybe she gets with a 7 now and again because that's how men are with their keep nets and how women are with their fishing for specific fish but she realises her 7 friends are getting more interest than her so she accepts offers from 5s and 6s and eventually gets with one of them and is relatively content because she realises that is what she can get with. I lived through a time such as this and experienced it.
The introduction of MySpace, followed by Facebook, followed inevitably by their cancerous spawn Tinder and Instagram has changed this completely. It has basically turned the small ponds that people were fishing in and throwing keep nets in, into one huge fucking ocean where both parties are doing the same thing on a much larger scale. And what people don't realise is that this situation can eventually damage both parties hugely. You see from a female perspective if you are caught in a keep net with a lot of other small fish and one or two big fish, this may feel great but the fact is this doesn't also make you a large fish, you're just in the same net. The fact that this fisherman can catch large fish means that there is a very large chance that you are going back into the ocean at some point or another while he keeps the large fish. This will damage women's confidence and leave them with a bad mental state for the man that she eventually gets with.
And that is one of the aspects of Tinder that I haven't seen mentioned much. It is at it's base level a one on one interaction - when you get a match you have no idea how many other men/women this person is interacting with so this allows a lot of women to 'headcanon' that this guy is solely interested in her. One thing I've noticed is that a lot of women truly are holding on for dear life for their 15 minutes with Prince charming and whether sex or dating is involved or not is regardless, this app is in essence providing that illusory encounter to them and giving them that source of validation and this in turn means that all women will at the very least be receiving some form of positive validation whereas the overwhelming majority of men will be receiving no validation from anyone leading to them feeling how an incel feels. You see female nature itself dictates that if you give a women an inch she will ask for a mile and eventually start demanding one. Creating a medium which facilitates and exaggerates this natural behaviour is immensely damaging to society for the above reasons mainly because it creates:-
- An exaggerated and falsely built up sense of worth in the vast majority of the female population which leads to mental pain for females when this illusion is shattered
- An exaggerated, but somewhat realistic, feeling of worthlessness in the majority of the male population which causes immense mental pain for them
With all this talk about mental health it's insane that this is not even considered among most 'academics'.
This is literally the cause of the problem. You see, men have always done this. And likewise women have only ever aimed for the specific men that they think they can get with, only waning when they realise, without fail, that they can't settle with them men inevitably pairing with their match or thereabouts through lack of choice. However years ago both were limited to the work environment and nights out to do this - small ponds. And years before that when women only worked in offices and men did manual labour and there were no mobile phones or internet they were limited further still.
So if a 5/10 woman went to a club back in the year 2000 for example and there was a 8+ guy there who was pairing up with a 8+ girl over her or the same thing was happening in college or school on a regular basis, that was her feedback on how good she is. And it was damn accurate. So she would then think "okay maybe I am not that great but I'm still decent so I'll go for decent looking guys (7s)". Then she sees all the 7s getting with the 7 girls in the club. Maybe she gets with a 7 now and again because that's how men are with their keep nets and how women are with their fishing for specific fish but she realises her 7 friends are getting more interest than her so she accepts offers from 5s and 6s and eventually gets with one of them and is relatively content because she realises that is what she can get with. I lived through a time such as this and experienced it.
The introduction of MySpace, followed by Facebook, followed inevitably by their cancerous spawn Tinder and Instagram has changed this completely. It has basically turned the small ponds that people were fishing in and throwing keep nets in, into one huge fucking ocean where both parties are doing the same thing on a much larger scale. And what people don't realise is that this situation can eventually damage both parties hugely. You see from a female perspective if you are caught in a keep net with a lot of other small fish and one or two big fish, this may feel great but the fact is this doesn't also make you a large fish, you're just in the same net. The fact that this fisherman can catch large fish means that there is a very large chance that you are going back into the ocean at some point or another while he keeps the large fish. This will damage women's confidence and leave them with a bad mental state for the man that she eventually gets with.
And that is one of the aspects of Tinder that I haven't seen mentioned much. It is at it's base level a one on one interaction - when you get a match you have no idea how many other men/women this person is interacting with so this allows a lot of women to 'headcanon' that this guy is solely interested in her. One thing I've noticed is that a lot of women truly are holding on for dear life for their 15 minutes with Prince charming and whether sex or dating is involved or not is regardless, this app is in essence providing that illusory encounter to them and giving them that source of validation and this in turn means that all women will at the very least be receiving some form of positive validation whereas the overwhelming majority of men will be receiving no validation from anyone leading to them feeling how an incel feels. You see female nature itself dictates that if you give a women an inch she will ask for a mile and eventually start demanding one. Creating a medium which facilitates and exaggerates this natural behaviour is immensely damaging to society for the above reasons mainly because it creates:-
- An exaggerated and falsely built up sense of worth in the vast majority of the female population which leads to mental pain for females when this illusion is shattered
- An exaggerated, but somewhat realistic, feeling of worthlessness in the majority of the male population which causes immense mental pain for them
With all this talk about mental health it's insane that this is not even considered among most 'academics'.
