Mario Mario, Jumpman, Mr. Videogame himself. One of the most famous/infamous video game characters of all time, has been on my mind recently, in all of his capers, adventures and odysseys to save Princess Peach, has he ever truly succeeded in cracking peach? No. Over 45 years of saving the same girl, over and over and over, and nothing comes out of it, except for a cake (which canonically only happens 3 times) and a kiss (which should be the ABSOLUTE BARE MINIMUM FOR SAVING YOUR LIFE OVER AND OVER FOR 45+ YEARS). Think about it, especially from Mario’s most recent 3d adventure, Mario Odyssey, he ACTIVELY LEARNED HOW TO PILOT A HOT AIR BALLOON AND WENT OVER TO OVER 7+ DIFFERENT CONTINENTS just to get curved at the end of the game. Fellas, don’t you think it’s a little unfair, that the titular plumber hasn’t gotten any pussy yet, even though he’s stuck his neck out time and time again for the girl who gets kidnapped every other month? One might beg the question in fact, that these kidnappings are on purpose because she wanted to get cracked by bowser, a more tall, richer, and famous individual (also he’s the leader of his own kingdom). Now, some might ask “Hey SungJinChud, what lesson are we supposed to learn from this absolute yapfest”, and I’ll tell you right now.
1. Never stick your neck out to save anyone, it’s not worth it.
Normies will never save you when you’re in trouble, or try to uplift you in your most trying times, don’t ever expect it, it’s the curse that we all bear, Mario has only been saved 3 times, by his brother, his literal day 1, people like that are few and far between for us, so if you have a brother, or just a really close friend, give them a hug.
2. Never go out of your way to save a foid.
Foids, for the past 125 years, have been pestering men, time and time again, about being independent, and not needing us, and saying we’re invalid, all the while, they want the benefits of before they had rights, while also having the benefits that having rights gives them, the Jews and the cucks let them play the system, and they won. And since they won, we should do everything in our power to either stay neutral or be negative forces in their lives, they wanna be so goddamn independent, they can figure it the fuck out.
3. Chad always wins
Really think about it, why would Princess Peach not increase her security detail if she gets kidnapped over and over again? She WANTS TO GET KIDNAPPED AN FUCKED BY BOWSER, now, normally, kidnapping is a felony, and bowser would normally be charged, but bowser has never gone to jail or been charged for any of the things he’s done to peach, and the reason is peach wants to be kidnapped and fucked, it’s her kink. As most women have, 62% of them have a rape fetish, which can only be fulfilled by Chad (Bowser). What if Mario tried to kidnap peach, do you think it’d have the same outcome? No. He’d get tried and arrested.
Thank you for listening to my TED Talk.
TL;DR: It’s over, and video games aren’t even that good of a cope, if you see the signs.
1. Never stick your neck out to save anyone, it’s not worth it.
Normies will never save you when you’re in trouble, or try to uplift you in your most trying times, don’t ever expect it, it’s the curse that we all bear, Mario has only been saved 3 times, by his brother, his literal day 1, people like that are few and far between for us, so if you have a brother, or just a really close friend, give them a hug.
2. Never go out of your way to save a foid.
Foids, for the past 125 years, have been pestering men, time and time again, about being independent, and not needing us, and saying we’re invalid, all the while, they want the benefits of before they had rights, while also having the benefits that having rights gives them, the Jews and the cucks let them play the system, and they won. And since they won, we should do everything in our power to either stay neutral or be negative forces in their lives, they wanna be so goddamn independent, they can figure it the fuck out.
3. Chad always wins
Really think about it, why would Princess Peach not increase her security detail if she gets kidnapped over and over again? She WANTS TO GET KIDNAPPED AN FUCKED BY BOWSER, now, normally, kidnapping is a felony, and bowser would normally be charged, but bowser has never gone to jail or been charged for any of the things he’s done to peach, and the reason is peach wants to be kidnapped and fucked, it’s her kink. As most women have, 62% of them have a rape fetish, which can only be fulfilled by Chad (Bowser). What if Mario tried to kidnap peach, do you think it’d have the same outcome? No. He’d get tried and arrested.
Thank you for listening to my TED Talk.
TL;DR: It’s over, and video games aren’t even that good of a cope, if you see the signs.
