When in HS (here is not high school but similar), i was having anger issues and was laughing out of nowhere, but i was good at hiding it (i think), i never have a real friend, just some faggots to hangout, but i was having human contact and i honestly think that this was helping me mentally.
After the end of HS, i decided to fully disconnect from society, at the start was pretty good, but it was getting worse and worse, near Christmas i broked my hand just because my mother was getting on my nerves, some days later she tried to intimidating me, saying: "if you touch your finger in me i will call the cops" and threatning me saying the ultimate bullshit, that she will turn into a man and hit me (reverse tranny surgery ?), after that i said that if i lost my shit again i will kill her with my bare hands, and it was getting worse and worse my anger issues...
But today i guess i fucked up in "public", i was getting the trash out, the dump was literally only 3 fucking steps of my gate, all i have to do was to act like a normal person for 10 seconds, but suddenly i started laughing, got frustrated and screamed: "STOP", then i looked if someone was looking at me, and my neighbor was sitting outside, with some other people looking directly at me with a confused expression, i give him a smile and closed the gate.
Now im mad because he might think that im a freak, i was thinking if i should forget this or maybe even try to kill him, he is a piece of shit, favelado and last week this bastard was partying with loud music and screaming at almost 2 AM, but whatever the outcome will be, can someone help me to dont have more these anger issues ?
Where i live is a complete shithole in the middle of nowhere so i cant have psychiatrist or a psychologist.
After the end of HS, i decided to fully disconnect from society, at the start was pretty good, but it was getting worse and worse, near Christmas i broked my hand just because my mother was getting on my nerves, some days later she tried to intimidating me, saying: "if you touch your finger in me i will call the cops" and threatning me saying the ultimate bullshit, that she will turn into a man and hit me (reverse tranny surgery ?), after that i said that if i lost my shit again i will kill her with my bare hands, and it was getting worse and worse my anger issues...
But today i guess i fucked up in "public", i was getting the trash out, the dump was literally only 3 fucking steps of my gate, all i have to do was to act like a normal person for 10 seconds, but suddenly i started laughing, got frustrated and screamed: "STOP", then i looked if someone was looking at me, and my neighbor was sitting outside, with some other people looking directly at me with a confused expression, i give him a smile and closed the gate.
Now im mad because he might think that im a freak, i was thinking if i should forget this or maybe even try to kill him, he is a piece of shit, favelado and last week this bastard was partying with loud music and screaming at almost 2 AM, but whatever the outcome will be, can someone help me to dont have more these anger issues ?
Where i live is a complete shithole in the middle of nowhere so i cant have psychiatrist or a psychologist.
