Tried to leave all of this blackpill bullshit behind but it didn't work.
Being a studycel just reminds me every day that I'm just genetically inferior. I put in twice the amount of effort as my peers and get out a third of what they do. All studying has done for me is reinforce to me that I'm human trash.
I literally can't even talk to people. All I have is 1 friend who tells me I'm mentally ill and need help. That I need to go talk to someone new. It just feels like an outlandish thought that I would ever have the confidence or social skills to just walk up to someone and be friends with them.
Well fuck that. I feel like giving up every day but I don't want to be a fucking leech failure to my family. They've already invested so much money and time into me but it doesn't mean jack shit. All I can do suffer in homework that I'm too retarded to do.
It's actually infuriating that people around me are living the best years of their lives while I contemplate what method of suicide I will use when the time comes.
Being a studycel just reminds me every day that I'm just genetically inferior. I put in twice the amount of effort as my peers and get out a third of what they do. All studying has done for me is reinforce to me that I'm human trash.
I literally can't even talk to people. All I have is 1 friend who tells me I'm mentally ill and need help. That I need to go talk to someone new. It just feels like an outlandish thought that I would ever have the confidence or social skills to just walk up to someone and be friends with them.
Well fuck that. I feel like giving up every day but I don't want to be a fucking leech failure to my family. They've already invested so much money and time into me but it doesn't mean jack shit. All I can do suffer in homework that I'm too retarded to do.
It's actually infuriating that people around me are living the best years of their lives while I contemplate what method of suicide I will use when the time comes.
