But time will always cuck you.
Isn’t it amazing? I haven‘t been to this board for a couple of months. In that time I did many different things. Bullshit and good stuff as well.
Tl;dr: Looking back, I am a weird, repulsive human bean – I was actually worse than I had thought. Childhood trauma has taken me out of normalcy, so far that I didn't even realize how weird I was.
I kept myself busy. But you know how life is. Sometimes you get knocked down bad. What happens then is that everything that went wrong in your life – every mistake, every rejection, every humiliation, every disappointment, every injustice – comes back to you.
It fucks your head. For a long time now I was doing ok. I even forgot that I was the scum of the earth. I forgot about the black, red and blue pills. I just lived and wasn’t bothered by anyone or anything.
Then I got a huge reality check. A teacher complained to me about me not doing some kind of project we were supposed to do for practice. Legally, he cannot do anything against me, like not letting me take an exam. He can also not tell me to finish the project or do any sort of homework, and he cannot give me a bad grade or anything like that.
So it’s honestly not that bad of a situation. He is just offended, life goes on. I am a disrespectful nihilist anyway. Being told that your work ethic is shit sucks, but that’s not all.
I actually socialized with a few normie fags. I just tried. I mean they approached me and I just went with the flow, I guess. But do you know what? I found out that they throw a New Year’s Eve party – guess who’s not on the guest list? Fucking me. Guess who is on the guest list? Almost all foids and most normiefags from that group.
The same day I went home by train – no license mogging in this post – and a fucking kid foid stared at me and told her sister: look at that guy. What did she mean? Am I that ugly that I stand out?
So I tried to calm my nerves by reading some mstow reddit posts. That was a bad mistake. That place is full of humble bragging atm. Men getting rich and rejecting skanks.
It all came back to me. I am scum. Scum! I try so hard and it barely makes a difference.
I accepted my scumhood a long time ago, but after not thinking about it and then being confronted again by everything at once - every little bad memory - I realized I was much worse than I had thought.
This is a shitty movie. I am the protagonist of one of those crappy made movies about disgusting, weird, low life people. People who are repulsive and don’t fully realize how repulsive they really are, being stuck in a low social class, not understanding normal people, not being fit for public environments, having poor self awareness, being easy prey for school bullies and sociopaths.
I realized that my inceldom is just a glittering turd on top of a huge mountain of shit. I am not a normal person who is incel – I have the whole fucking package.
These days, people are polite and ghost me. They don’t talk that much trash, but let’s be honest. I’m not that exciting, in fact, I’m boring as hell.
I’m just hiding my weirdness. But I am weird. As. Fuck. Creepily weird. Cringily weird.
I mean I got bullied in school. The others were better than me. But they were lightyears ahead of me. Somehow I didn’t see that. They were better adjusted, better developed even. I was such a disgusting piece of crap.
Like that motherfucker from Human Centipede 2. Can’t talk, abuses his dick til it bleeds, wets his bed, lives in an apartment with his mother who emasculates him because he is not as manly as his dad (who molested him), gets bullied by his neighbor, gets sexually abused and gaslighted by his therapist. And then abducts everyone and creates a human centipede (by sowing their mouths and asses together. Go watch the movie, it’s made for people like us).
I am like him. Arthur Fleck ain’t got shit on us. He is the cute Teletubbies version of us.
And the thing about dysfunctional people who get stuck in life is that their childhood traumas impede their development. Add the cucked up school system with Chad and Stacy bullies and sadistic schedules, and a poor maggot like me is destined to rot.
I realized that probably nothing good will come from me. I already did so bad in life. I was the worst at everything. Nothing worked out quite well. Even if I work myself up to wageslave like a normal person… I will remain pathetic and weird. A healthy, "make 'em jealous with your success" type of revenge is close to impossible.
Me not fucking killing myself is like playing the lottery.
By some miracle I could potentially make something out of myself (not a mockery), something to be proud of, someone who… brings light into this world. I almost said contributes something to society, but society itself is cucked and barbaric. Appeasing these people should be no priority, otherwise they’ll just manipulate you by gaslighting you to get their way with you.
What I mean is that I could do something that is not pure shit and be a person that is not pure shit. I just need…. the jackpot, basically. Extreme luck.
I need fucking great circumstances, because I will not be able to do it on my own. I cannot thrive in shit conditions, I believe. I am too fragile. I HAVE to hope for good luck.
Well, I got the ticket. Being alive is the ticket. And life draws numbers all the time.
Thanks for reading. Just needed to vent AAAAAHH. I gotta pick myself up, somehow. There is no reason to, but I never had any reason to get back up again, and I still got up. Happy New Year.
Isn’t it amazing? I haven‘t been to this board for a couple of months. In that time I did many different things. Bullshit and good stuff as well.
Tl;dr: Looking back, I am a weird, repulsive human bean – I was actually worse than I had thought. Childhood trauma has taken me out of normalcy, so far that I didn't even realize how weird I was.
I kept myself busy. But you know how life is. Sometimes you get knocked down bad. What happens then is that everything that went wrong in your life – every mistake, every rejection, every humiliation, every disappointment, every injustice – comes back to you.
It fucks your head. For a long time now I was doing ok. I even forgot that I was the scum of the earth. I forgot about the black, red and blue pills. I just lived and wasn’t bothered by anyone or anything.
Then I got a huge reality check. A teacher complained to me about me not doing some kind of project we were supposed to do for practice. Legally, he cannot do anything against me, like not letting me take an exam. He can also not tell me to finish the project or do any sort of homework, and he cannot give me a bad grade or anything like that.
So it’s honestly not that bad of a situation. He is just offended, life goes on. I am a disrespectful nihilist anyway. Being told that your work ethic is shit sucks, but that’s not all.
I actually socialized with a few normie fags. I just tried. I mean they approached me and I just went with the flow, I guess. But do you know what? I found out that they throw a New Year’s Eve party – guess who’s not on the guest list? Fucking me. Guess who is on the guest list? Almost all foids and most normiefags from that group.
The same day I went home by train – no license mogging in this post – and a fucking kid foid stared at me and told her sister: look at that guy. What did she mean? Am I that ugly that I stand out?
So I tried to calm my nerves by reading some mstow reddit posts. That was a bad mistake. That place is full of humble bragging atm. Men getting rich and rejecting skanks.
It all came back to me. I am scum. Scum! I try so hard and it barely makes a difference.
I accepted my scumhood a long time ago, but after not thinking about it and then being confronted again by everything at once - every little bad memory - I realized I was much worse than I had thought.
This is a shitty movie. I am the protagonist of one of those crappy made movies about disgusting, weird, low life people. People who are repulsive and don’t fully realize how repulsive they really are, being stuck in a low social class, not understanding normal people, not being fit for public environments, having poor self awareness, being easy prey for school bullies and sociopaths.
I realized that my inceldom is just a glittering turd on top of a huge mountain of shit. I am not a normal person who is incel – I have the whole fucking package.
These days, people are polite and ghost me. They don’t talk that much trash, but let’s be honest. I’m not that exciting, in fact, I’m boring as hell.
I’m just hiding my weirdness. But I am weird. As. Fuck. Creepily weird. Cringily weird.
I mean I got bullied in school. The others were better than me. But they were lightyears ahead of me. Somehow I didn’t see that. They were better adjusted, better developed even. I was such a disgusting piece of crap.
Like that motherfucker from Human Centipede 2. Can’t talk, abuses his dick til it bleeds, wets his bed, lives in an apartment with his mother who emasculates him because he is not as manly as his dad (who molested him), gets bullied by his neighbor, gets sexually abused and gaslighted by his therapist. And then abducts everyone and creates a human centipede (by sowing their mouths and asses together. Go watch the movie, it’s made for people like us).
I am like him. Arthur Fleck ain’t got shit on us. He is the cute Teletubbies version of us.
And the thing about dysfunctional people who get stuck in life is that their childhood traumas impede their development. Add the cucked up school system with Chad and Stacy bullies and sadistic schedules, and a poor maggot like me is destined to rot.
I realized that probably nothing good will come from me. I already did so bad in life. I was the worst at everything. Nothing worked out quite well. Even if I work myself up to wageslave like a normal person… I will remain pathetic and weird. A healthy, "make 'em jealous with your success" type of revenge is close to impossible.
Me not fucking killing myself is like playing the lottery.
By some miracle I could potentially make something out of myself (not a mockery), something to be proud of, someone who… brings light into this world. I almost said contributes something to society, but society itself is cucked and barbaric. Appeasing these people should be no priority, otherwise they’ll just manipulate you by gaslighting you to get their way with you.
What I mean is that I could do something that is not pure shit and be a person that is not pure shit. I just need…. the jackpot, basically. Extreme luck.
I need fucking great circumstances, because I will not be able to do it on my own. I cannot thrive in shit conditions, I believe. I am too fragile. I HAVE to hope for good luck.
Well, I got the ticket. Being alive is the ticket. And life draws numbers all the time.
Thanks for reading. Just needed to vent AAAAAHH. I gotta pick myself up, somehow. There is no reason to, but I never had any reason to get back up again, and I still got up. Happy New Year.
