M
21 yos old
In the past year i’ve aged 5 years. Last year people guessed my age as 16-17 now they guess it as 21-22. You’d think this would be a good thing because i’m catching up to my age but that just shows i have poor aging genetics. I SHOULD have goon ones because my parents are so young but i got shit ones. What happens if i age another 5 years next year? And so on and so fourth
I try every fucking looksmax possible and every step forward i seem to take a step back
I chewed a ton of gum for jaw gains and ended up getting TMJ which wrecked my facial structure
I took beta carotene for glow and it worked well at first now i look a weird orange color
I am breaking out in hormonal acne all over my face despite transferring to a near perfect, no dairy, glow glycemic diet .
My skin tone is shit despite doing homemade vitamin c serum, retin a , etc
Got fillers and they made my face look 10x worse. Have to wait 2+ years for results to go away since it was sculptra
I got a rhinoplasty 2 years ago and got a low grade infection that i have to live with forever in my nose. It’s constantly a little inflamed/swollen. I’m worried about getting another because it will just get infected again. My gut bacteria are fucked because i’ve been through at least 12 rounds of antibiotics since then for the infection. Another reason i can’t go on accutane
So just LDAR? If only i could
I abused adderall in high school and had no idea what i was getting myself into. Thought i was just taking “more of my adhd meds than i was supposed to” and ended up fucking my entire life over because of some pill. My dopamine system is ruined forever. I’ve had anhedonia ever since. I don’t enjoy shit anymore. I can’t concentrate, focus, socialize anything. I can’t enjoy video games etc introverted lifestyle like most LDARers and the havoc it’s wreaked on my focus and cognitive abilities crushes my hopes of ever career or moneymaxxing , which i was once very ambitious about.
Tell me what reason i have to live?
I used to have hope now i don’t even have that.
I can’t looksmax anymore so becoming good looking and enjoying life in that form is out of the question. I feel like my brain is permanently ruined from adderall and unless some miracle happens (such as cure for parkinsons comes outwhich is what i needs), so i can’t ever hope of becoming successful one day or anything.
I’m 21 and i’ve already lost despite trying so so so so fucking hard to turn my situation around
What do i even have to fucking live for? I look for reasons every day and i’ve absolutely ran out of finding them
If i didn’t have to leave a mother i care about i would jump off this roof i’m sitting on right now
Oh yea I also have no friends
In the past year i’ve aged 5 years. Last year people guessed my age as 16-17 now they guess it as 21-22. You’d think this would be a good thing because i’m catching up to my age but that just shows i have poor aging genetics. I SHOULD have goon ones because my parents are so young but i got shit ones. What happens if i age another 5 years next year? And so on and so fourth
I try every fucking looksmax possible and every step forward i seem to take a step back
I chewed a ton of gum for jaw gains and ended up getting TMJ which wrecked my facial structure
I took beta carotene for glow and it worked well at first now i look a weird orange color
I am breaking out in hormonal acne all over my face despite transferring to a near perfect, no dairy, glow glycemic diet .
My skin tone is shit despite doing homemade vitamin c serum, retin a , etc
Got fillers and they made my face look 10x worse. Have to wait 2+ years for results to go away since it was sculptra
I got a rhinoplasty 2 years ago and got a low grade infection that i have to live with forever in my nose. It’s constantly a little inflamed/swollen. I’m worried about getting another because it will just get infected again. My gut bacteria are fucked because i’ve been through at least 12 rounds of antibiotics since then for the infection. Another reason i can’t go on accutane
So just LDAR? If only i could
I abused adderall in high school and had no idea what i was getting myself into. Thought i was just taking “more of my adhd meds than i was supposed to” and ended up fucking my entire life over because of some pill. My dopamine system is ruined forever. I’ve had anhedonia ever since. I don’t enjoy shit anymore. I can’t concentrate, focus, socialize anything. I can’t enjoy video games etc introverted lifestyle like most LDARers and the havoc it’s wreaked on my focus and cognitive abilities crushes my hopes of ever career or moneymaxxing , which i was once very ambitious about.
Tell me what reason i have to live?
I used to have hope now i don’t even have that.
I can’t looksmax anymore so becoming good looking and enjoying life in that form is out of the question. I feel like my brain is permanently ruined from adderall and unless some miracle happens (such as cure for parkinsons comes outwhich is what i needs), so i can’t ever hope of becoming successful one day or anything.
I’m 21 and i’ve already lost despite trying so so so so fucking hard to turn my situation around
What do i even have to fucking live for? I look for reasons every day and i’ve absolutely ran out of finding them
If i didn’t have to leave a mother i care about i would jump off this roof i’m sitting on right now
Oh yea I also have no friends
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