5'4, 4 inch dick, 2/10 face. Depressed to the point of non-function. So anxious that every moment spent outside this house is excruciating, exhausting in the way trudging through oceans of mud would be. Fuck, there are many things about my existence that I haven't and won't reveal, even here, on account of just how pathetic and shameful they are.
I genuinely have not encountered anyone with a life that resembles mine in the slightest. I do not mean to claim I have it worst, or that I have come anywhere close to experiencing the worst suffering a human can suffer, not at all, but still. You know when normies point to some miracle-case and say, "Hey, it might be bad, but if he can make it, there is a chance you can too, right?" For me, there is no beacon of hope to follow, none who vaguely match my circumstances. I've never met anyone who doesn't make me feel like some sort of otherworldly alien.
I'd do anything for just, a friend or two, who I could actually enjoy being around, who I was somehow able to communicate with. Christ, this isolation is maddening. To think, I haven't felt the touch of another since childhood, and I never will, again... how is one to survive with this knowledge? It is unhuman knowledge.
I suppose this isn't even related, but, I don't know... fuck, I can't even make it halfway through a post without losing track of my thinking entirely. Posting requires more mental energy than I can give a lot of the time, for that reason a lot of your responses go unanswered, and I apologize for that.
I haven't enjoyed anything, or felt anything positive, in years, and it only grows worse. All I do is distract myself as much as I can, via mindless time-wasting on the internet, and such. That's all I can do. My life is in a bottomless pit and I see not even the slightest chance of climbing back out. Well, I suppose I must, or I would've roped, huh? I don't know. I'm fucked, I have no idea what to do, fuck.
Fuck.