I wil be a time without doomscrolling or rotting anymore, since im currently a neet hikkikomori with no friends i dont have any phone calls or text messages to worry about.
Im sorry if my last joke was not funny at all but i dont really want people to think im a bad person cuz im not,, only once when i was a teenager i vividly dream about being an school shooter and for a bit i thinked of ways i could kill the father of my bullie and since he doesnt have a mother if i get rid of his father he would end up an orphan but thats it, they are just dreams and imaginations of mine, i have never take any action to do something really bad against society and never will but there are times i loose control over what is in my head.
I want my life to have the good ending but i cannot really think of a way to do that if i keep numbingly looking at screens all day, will also stop taking any type of antidepresants, which i have been combining sometimes with alcohol and most days with weed, along with the constant hypno gooning state i was living on, and thus combinations could problably have to do something with my brain chemicals not working as they should, but this days i will go totally sober, alcohol will be easy since i just dont like the taste of it, and weed makes music sounds better but when im outside and high i have the constant thought that i have the ring girl following me, at first it was scary but then i just kinda live with it, but during this days i want to start leaving my home and i cannot be high for that. Also will go this days without cumming or watching any kind of porn. Will use this time to contemplate, learn and talk more and learn to socialize.
I wanna recall a bit of my last appointment to my psychologist where i told her that the days i speak to her where the only days i speaked out of my mouth more than 10 real words (now i think that could be the main reason i said a lot of things online) she give me the idea of creating a podcast where i could talk about different topics and at the same speaking real words and maybe some people get to hear it and instead of just consuming content start creating it, i told her i like the idea and i ended up not doing anything related to a podcast but i think i accidentally did something related
At first the though and feel of me being welcomed in a community lighted up my solitary heart but my lack of social skills and awareness and my depressive acttitude towards life ended up rapidly with my acceptance there and i dont wanna make anyone feel uncomfortable thats why i leave but i just wished when i comeback i have a better mental state because i remembered being a happy child and i know i have not always been like this and just start all over again like nothing of this happened, if it is possible.
See ya guys on 20 days, bye bye.
Im sorry if my last joke was not funny at all but i dont really want people to think im a bad person cuz im not,, only once when i was a teenager i vividly dream about being an school shooter and for a bit i thinked of ways i could kill the father of my bullie and since he doesnt have a mother if i get rid of his father he would end up an orphan but thats it, they are just dreams and imaginations of mine, i have never take any action to do something really bad against society and never will but there are times i loose control over what is in my head.
I want my life to have the good ending but i cannot really think of a way to do that if i keep numbingly looking at screens all day, will also stop taking any type of antidepresants, which i have been combining sometimes with alcohol and most days with weed, along with the constant hypno gooning state i was living on, and thus combinations could problably have to do something with my brain chemicals not working as they should, but this days i will go totally sober, alcohol will be easy since i just dont like the taste of it, and weed makes music sounds better but when im outside and high i have the constant thought that i have the ring girl following me, at first it was scary but then i just kinda live with it, but during this days i want to start leaving my home and i cannot be high for that. Also will go this days without cumming or watching any kind of porn. Will use this time to contemplate, learn and talk more and learn to socialize.
I wanna recall a bit of my last appointment to my psychologist where i told her that the days i speak to her where the only days i speaked out of my mouth more than 10 real words (now i think that could be the main reason i said a lot of things online) she give me the idea of creating a podcast where i could talk about different topics and at the same speaking real words and maybe some people get to hear it and instead of just consuming content start creating it, i told her i like the idea and i ended up not doing anything related to a podcast but i think i accidentally did something related
At first the though and feel of me being welcomed in a community lighted up my solitary heart but my lack of social skills and awareness and my depressive acttitude towards life ended up rapidly with my acceptance there and i dont wanna make anyone feel uncomfortable thats why i leave but i just wished when i comeback i have a better mental state because i remembered being a happy child and i know i have not always been like this and just start all over again like nothing of this happened, if it is possible.
See ya guys on 20 days, bye bye.
