SuicideFuel Just went on a "paintballing" day out with the rehab lot, it's GigaChad central.

[Deleted member 301]

Okay, so even though I'm virtually wheelchair bound due to Alcoholic Neuropathy caused by my drinking (hence rehab), I still had to go along on this paintballing "day out" with everyone as they wouldn't let me stay behind unstaffed. It was basically 40 Chads and GigaChads who mostly knew eachother, and 6 of us from Rehab who are all Incel/Oldcel/Addictcel's. I had the most boring day just sat in a cafeteria, no phone signal because it's in the middle of nowhere so I couldn't even browse .co to pass the time, just waiting on the whole saga to finish. Afer every game I had to sit and listen to Chads all talking about their plans for tonight and all the Stacie's they are going to fuck, whilst I'm sat in a mobility scooter smiling politely and chatting to them (In fairness, they were pretty sound blokes. Most Chad's I encounter are usually quite ok with me as they don't see a decrepit Truecel like me as any kind of threat) all the while dying slightly inside knowing I have missed out on my whole life and have only a wheelchair-bound, rapid decline and painful death to look forward too

 

[NEETard]

Atleast you didnt get shot by paintballs that shit hurts

 

[Deleted member 22907]

I've never been drunk in my life. Maybe if i start drinking ill turn out like you

 

[Animecel2D]

What a brutal situation. Don‘t know how you haven’t roped yet.

 

[Deleted member 16624]

Atleast you didnt get shot by paintballs that shit hurts

never have been but seems painfull ngl

 

[Incel Gamer]

Wheelchair bound? I can walk and I thought I was depressed! You should rope.

 

[Deleted member 301]

I've never been drunk in my life. Maybe if i start drinking ill turn out like you

Don't start drinking if you haven't started already Bro, or if you do DO NOT let it get a grip of you like I did! This shit has guaranteed me a totally, unavoidable and agonising death. I'm okay with dying, we all have to die one day after all, but not in crippling pain. I have stage 3 liver cirrossis, chronic pancereatitis, alcoholic cardiomyopthy, neuropathy and my kidneys went into Acute Failure which is why I'm in rehab. All of this due to LDAR lifestyle of 16 pints/or cans of 5.4% cider and a litre/half bottle of vodka a day, since I was 18. I'm 36 now so half my life was basically getting wasted, if I knew I was gonna die in agony I wouldn't have started. I at least would have chosen a cope like smoking weed or being a pillhead, one that is a little safer.

Don't mean to rant, I just don't want any of you bro's to suffer like I do

Atleast you didnt get shot by paintballs that shit hurts

Very true Bro, the rest of the Rehab is pretty beaten and bruised lol

 

[AlexanderTheGreat11]

Brutal man , Good luck with everything

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

Brutal man , Good luck with everything

 

[Billowel]

Okay, so even though I'm virtually wheelchair bound due to Alcoholic Neuropathy caused by my drinking (hence rehab), I still had to go along on this paintballing "day out" with everyone as they wouldn't let me stay behind unstaffed. It was basically 40 Chads and GigaChads who mostly knew eachother, and 6 of us from Rehab who are all Incel/Oldcel/Addictcel's. I had the most boring day just sat in a cafeteria, no phone signal because it's in the middle of nowhere so I couldn't even browse .co to pass the time, just waiting on the whole saga to finish. Afer every game I had to sit and listen to Chads all talking about their plans for tonight and all the Stacie's they are going to fuck, whilst I'm sat in a mobility scooter smiling politely and chatting to them (In fairness, they were pretty sound blokes. Most Chad's I encounter are usually quite ok with me as they don't see a decrepit Truecel like me as any kind of threat) all the while dying slightly inside knowing I have missed out on my whole life and have only a wheelchair-bound, rapid decline and painful death to look forward too

You have no excuse to not search for god.God is your only hope.

 

[BenBerger]

Why no one is proposing to go ER in paintball?
Is it gay?

 

[Linky Love]

So you’ll never walk again and are paralyzed or is it one of those things where you are just too weak to move around on your own for long periods of time and hence need the mobility scooter and or wheelchair?

In anycase I hope you can somehow survive and recover but if this shit really is going to kill you than I hope it’s peacefully how I believe my uncle’s brother with basically the same condition went out ie he slipped into a coma basically and not long after simply died with no apparent further suffering or pain.

In the months leading up to his death before his hospitalization he would I guess go into delusional modes of thought from his advanced liver disease/destruction and wander around his home smearing shit on the walls and or probably knocking over and breaking stuff. Not sure about the breaking stuff but my aunt and or uncle were clear in the other thing which they’d then have to go over to his house and clean up.

I guess the reason he could stay living alone for so long was because he’d have long periods of time where he was actually lucid and thinking clearly (and plus my aunt and uncle were constantly going over to his house and helping him with various things. I think my uncle was even given voluntary control of his brother’s finances).

At one point a doctor even thought he might have a chance to turn things around and recover and I think maybe get at least 10 more years of life if he “stopped drinking now”the doctor told him, but sadly it was not to be.

Pretty sure he was still drinking at least on and off up to the point that he was hospitalized and ultimately died.

Addiction can be and often is a nightmare.

Damned rough thing to deal with and try and overcome that’s for sure.

 

[Deleted member 23682]

Brutal man , Good luck with everything

 

[Deleted member 22907]

Don't start drinking if you haven't started already Bro, or if you do DO NOT let it get a grip of you like I did! This shit has guaranteed me a totally, unavoidable and agonising death. I'm okay with dying, we all have to die one day after all, but not in crippling pain. I have stage 3 liver cirrossis, chronic pancereatitis, alcoholic cardiomyopthy, neuropathy and my kidneys went into Acute Failure which is why I'm in rehab. All of this due to LDAR lifestyle of 16 pints/or cans of 5.4% cider and a litre/half bottle of vodka a day, since I was 18. I'm 36 now so half my life was basically getting wasted, if I knew I was gonna die in agony I wouldn't have started. I at least would have chosen a cope like smoking weed or being a pillhead, one that is a little safer.

Don't mean to rant, I just don't want any of you bro's to suffer like I do

I heard drinking is a really good cope tho

 

[ItsOver4cel]

Atleast you didnt get shot by paintballs that shit hurts

Brutal paintballpill

 

[Yerberito]

Brutal man , Good luck with everything

same

 

[Linky Love]

I heard drinking is a really good cope tho

Well not everyone who becomes a hardcore alcoholic like my uncle's brother and our friend outherebrothers ends up with a severely damaged/impaired liver for whatever reason (probably better genetics for tolerating alcohol consumption. Duh!)

For whatever reason some people's bodies can just "handle" said addiction without destroying the liver much if at all.

The addiction part of it however, along with probable body shakes (the worse things get), along with puking your guts out every morning (or whenever this kicks in for you) still can I'm sure make things a major bummer/drag for all the alcoholcels out there who won't ultimately end up dying from said addiction.

Both of my grandmothers (hilariously enough) were pretty bad alcoholics yet still managed to live well into old age before ultimately dying from seemingly unalcohol related cancers or at least in my one grandmother's case I'm not sure if it was cancer per se that killed her but rather some kind of odd bowel obstruction that they couldn't operate on her for and remove because everytime they tried I believe she coded due to her lungs not being strong enough (from years of hardcore smoking) to handle simply being put out by the anesthetics.

 

[FinnCel]

I've never been drunk in my life. Maybe if i start drinking ill turn out like you

 

[Indari]

take shrooms and dmt

 

[micropenis29]

Don't start drinking if you haven't started already Bro, or if you do DO NOT let it get a grip of you like I did! This shit has guaranteed me a totally, unavoidable and agonising death. I'm okay with dying, we all have to die one day after all, but not in crippling pain. I have stage 3 liver cirrossis, chronic pancereatitis, alcoholic cardiomyopthy, neuropathy and my kidneys went into Acute Failure which is why I'm in rehab. All of this due to LDAR lifestyle of 16 pints/or cans of 5.4% cider and a litre/half bottle of vodka a day, since I was 18. I'm 36 now so half my life was basically getting wasted, if I knew I was gonna die in agony I wouldn't have started. I at least would have chosen a cope like smoking weed or being a pillhead, one that is a little safer.

Don't mean to rant, I just don't want any of you bro's to suffer like I do


Very true Bro, the rest of the Rehab is pretty beaten and bruised lol

Damn. I'm on the same path you're on. I have zero intent to stop drinking though.

 

[Linky Love]

Damn. I'm on the same path you're on. I have zero intent to stop drinking though.

Is there any other cope that does anything positive for you like food coping for example?

What about weed smoking or getting high on pills??

 

[Deleted member 301]

So you’ll never walk again and are paralyzed or is it one of those things where you are just too weak to move around on your own for long periods of time and hence need the mobility scooter and or wheelchair?

I can use a walking stick and make it (very slowly and with great difficulty) from one end of the living room to the other, and go and smoke a cigarette outside. That's literally it, and that takes me like 3 minutes for a 3 second walk, stairs I have no chance. Or any longer distance. My balance is screwed because of the Neuropathy, plus I'm frail as fuck so I get exhausted easily, even getting out of bed. It simply ain't worth the pain and hassle to try and walk further or more (I have tried btw) as it takes forever to get nowhere. All caused by my raging alcohol abuse. The only hope of avoiding an agonising death is if I have a massive heart attack, which given my heart is in bad shape with Alcoholic Cardiomyopathy, could well happen. Literally, it's so fucking over when you are HOPING for a heart attack instead of the alternative.

Well not everyone who becomes a hardcore alcoholic like my uncle's brother and our friend outherebrothers ends up with a severely damaged/impaired liver for whatever reason (probably better genetics for tolerating alcohol consumption. Duh!)

This tbh, just luck (or lack thereof) of the draw. The doctor's more or less echoed your words, I've had warnings over the years, many hospital stays etc, but just didn't heed any of them until it was way too late so I have nobody to blame but myself.

 

[Deleted member 22907]

what?

 

[singleplayercel]

Brutal man , Good luck with everything

 

[micropenis29]

Is there any other cope that does anything positive for you like food coping for example?

Food is great but I just don't have the appetite for that much food.

What about weed smoking or getting high on pills??

I love weed even more than alcohol, but it's is still illegal where I am, and I'ver never tried pills. But pills seem even more dangerous than alcohol from what I've heard and read.

 

[ihaveno1]

Never been paintballing, It doesn’t sound fun at all

 

[zangano1]

Alcoholics and drug addicts are usually good looking. What a waste

 

[Linky Love]

So the doctor/s literally told you that you will most likely experience an agonizing death?

Seems odd if so since again my uncle's brother seemingly was pretty much in your same exact situation (with a possibly even worse conditioned liver since the doctor said only a small piece of it was left that was viable ie months before he died I believe) and he only seemed to experience bouts of incredible delirium followed by just slipping into a coma and eventually dying that way apparently peacefully.

 

[FUCKITALLREEE]

I've never been drunk in my life. Maybe if i start drinking ill turn out like you

The only think it did for me is making me dizzy and sleepy, like weed. So i see that as useless since it didn't help me at all.

 

[Deleted member 301]

what?

So the doctor/s literally told you that you will most likely experience an agonizing death?

Seems odd if so since again my uncle's brother seemingly was pretty much in your same exact situation (with a possibly even worse conditioned liver since the doctor said only a small piece of it was left that was viable ie months before he died I believe) and he only seemed to experience bouts of incredible delirium followed by just slipping into a coma and eventually dying that way apparently peacefully.

They've never out and out said that, but I've been in hospital heaps of times and seen people with with these diseases that I have at the very end and heard one particular guy on the ward literally begging for death one time. Then seeing him get wheeled out at night (when they think everyone is asleep) after he died, in a body bag, which in itself is creepy af tbh. The pain I'm in now with Chronic Pancreatitis and my liver is pretty mind-bending, I have never got used to it, but have learned that howling in pain until you're exhausted doesn't make it go away so I'm just quiet but in pain. Hard to explain Bro. I'm on Matrifen Fentanyl patches and Oramorph so they take the edge away and make me at least able to bear it. Plus they do make you pretty off your face which is quite pleasant and at least I'm able to sleep. To be honest it's my heart the doctors are most worried about as that, along with my alcoholism, is what caused my kidneys to fail and they don't think it's strong enough to keep all my organs going for much longer given the state they are mostly all in.

I guess were all different, delirium sounds pretty horrendous too tbh. Unless it's a kind of "good" delirium??

 

[Linky Love]

I guess were all different, delirium sounds pretty horrendous too tbh. Unless it's a kind of "good" delirium??

From what I remember my uncle's brother fucking HATED the delirium as it was intensely annoying for him and probably embarassing for him too ie referring to the things that he did while out of it that my aunt and uncle had to clean up for him, etc.

Yet I guess I was wrong in saying he had your EXACT same situation, because I don't believe he ever talked about having any physical pain with his impending liver failure.

Nor was he ever to my knowledge wheelchair bound, though perhaps at times somewhat weak of feeling.

In anycase for what its worth I hope whatever you want to happen with this health situation of yours happens ie if you want to get well enough to live a decent mostly (or all pain free) life you can do so and if you want to die then I hope you receive a peaceful death like I believe my uncle's brother got to experience.

 

[Kurt Gödel]

Thanks for the advice OP, i was about to get really drunk one of these days in an attention seeking rampage.

I just accomplished one year of not drinking alone . If i get into the right mindset probably i'll avoid alcohol in social occasions. And thankfully those don't happen very often.

 

[PluralSpaceRace]

You have no excuse to not search for god.God is your only hope.

 

[Kurt Gödel]

Jfl that guy only comes to this forum to preach about a god that killed innocent children and made him an incel.

 

[Saddam]

Rehab seems fucking unbearable. I am hooked on booze but I can't imagine actually ever finding motivation to live without it. So sorry for your situation bro, you are an example of someone here who actually genuinely suffers.

No offence but do you find yourself still able to enjoy life at all? Every day I spent not drinking I basically spent thinking about it.

Food is great but I just don't have the appetite for that much food.



I love weed even more than alcohol, but it's is still illegal where I am, and I'ver never tried pills. But pills seem even more dangerous than alcohol from what I've heard and read.

If by "pills" you mean MDMA then not really, it's more intense but absolutely no one does MDMA every single day, you'd feel nothing by the fourth day except completely wasted/braindead. If you actually abused it as much though then yeah, it's just alcohol is easy to come back to every day. Weed is as well but not even close to being as harmful.

 

[Linky Love]

Jfl that guy only comes to this forum to preach about a god that killed innocent children and made him an incel.

 

[Kurt Gödel]

had to watch it twice.

 

[Billowel]

had to watch it twice.

no offence or anything but the problem of evil has been addressed a million times that i don't even need to talk about it

 

[PluralSpaceRace]

no offence or anything but the problem of evil has been addressed a million times that i don't even need to talk about it

 

[Billowel]

Like you,i laughed.Now i am ashamed and hopefully god will forgive me for my many sins.

 

[deathsh+rt]

You must be one tough bloke to not give up and I respect that,my father suffered in the same way after he walked out so I can understand what your situation is.

 

[PluralSpaceRace]

Like you,i laughed.Now i am ashamed and hopefully god will forgive me for my many sins.

I am the blackpill messiah. I will laugh to the grave

 

[Deleted member 301]

From what I remember my uncle's brother fucking HATED the delirium as it was intensely annoying for him and probably embarassing for him too ie referring to the things that he did while out of it that my aunt and uncle had to clean up for him, etc.

Yet I guess I was wrong in saying he had your EXACT same situation, because I don't believe he ever talked about having any physical pain with his impending liver failure.

Nor was he ever to my knowledge wheelchair bound, though perhaps at times somewhat weak of feeling.

In anycase for what its worth I hope whatever you want to happen with this health situation of yours happens ie if you want to get well enough to live a decent mostly (or all pain free) life you can do so and if you want to die then I hope you receive a peaceful death like I believe my uncle's brother got to experience.

Cheers Bro I'm actually the happiest I've been for nearly 6 years, as I am no longer a Homelesscel and spent 5 and a half years homeless before going into hospital and then rehab. And I will never be a Homelesscel again as the government have a "Duty of Care" towards me now because of my health situation, so wherever I end up I will be housed and cared for for the rest of my life.