SuicideFuel Just talked to my mum

[everythingislava]

After two weeks of ignoring her and not answering her calls because I was too afraid of talking about my pathetic situation. She was clearly about to cry, thinking that I had killed myself.

I hate myself, I really do. I'm good for nothing, all I can do is cause pain while being in constant pain myself. But I also can't ever kill myself as that would be even more selfish and would cause even more pain. So I keep on running and running away for as long as my breath takes me.

There surely are a few others with good parents on here, how do you cope with being a disappointment (even if they'd never call you that)?

 

[Deleted member 13256]

It's their fault I'm a failure so I don't really care what they think. In fact they are indebted to me for bringing me into this hell.

 

[thePhantom]

I cope with it very badly tbh. The embarrassment and guilt combined with general frustration with life makes me lash out and being a bit of an asshole towards my mom. I rationalize it by thinking that it's her fault for giving birth to me and then bluepilling me for my entire life, but it's not really justifiable.

 

[everythingislava]

I cope with it very badly tbh. The embarrassment and guilt combined with general frustration with life makes me lash out and being a bit of an asshole towards my mom. I rationalize it by thinking that it's her fault for giving birth to me and then bluepilling me for my entire life, but it's not really justifiable.

I'm in no place to give advice tbh but you could maybe write her a letter explaining everything just so that she knows?

It's their fault I'm a failure so I don't really care what they think. In fact they are indebted to me for bringing me into this hell.

Fuck man

 

[Justdone]

 

[FaceandHFD]

you fucked up mate

 

[everythingislava]

you fucked up mate

Yeah I know

 

[OMGFML]

I have had bad parenting.

 

[thePhantom]

I'm in no place to give advice tbh but you could maybe write her a letter explaining everything just so that she knows?

Thanks man. She already knows a whole lot though, perhaps too much. It seems that knowledge and understanding will only do so much, and that old patterns reemerge so long as the underlying problems persist. Nevertheless, I can recommend trying to talk about things and even be open with being incel depending on whether your mom is sensible. Clears the air if nothing else.

 

[Spite]

After two weeks of ignoring her and not answering her calls because I was too afraid of talking about my pathetic situation. She was clearly about to cry, thinking that I had killed myself.

What exactly is your situation tho?

 

[everythingislava]

What exactly is your situation tho?

I'm living on my own and am supposed to go to uni but haven't gone there in two years because I'm too afraid of the people there. By now I am unable to leave my apartment unless it's dark (I only go out for groceries), struggle with returning texts and calls due to anxiety, my apartment is a disaster in terms of hygiene and I haven't taken care of all these letters regarding financial stuff and bills.. I don't even know what's in them but they are piling up and that can't be good.

Also I went to therapy (diagnosed agoraphobia and social anxiety) a few months ago but now I have stopped, still taking the meds though.

 

[Spite]

I'm living on my own and am supposed to go to uni but haven't gone there in two years because I'm too afraid of the people there. By now I am unable to leave my apartment unless it's dark (I only go out for groceries), struggle with returning texts and calls due to anxiety, my apartment is a disaster in terms of hygiene and I haven't taken care of all these letters regarding financial stuff and bills.. I don't even know what's in them but they are piling up and that can't be good.

Also I went to therapy (diagnosed agoraphobia and social anxiety) a few months ago but now I have stopped, still taking the meds though.

Damn bro, that's tough Take care of your bills atleast so you can comfortably LDAR.

 

[Deleted member 13256]

Take care of your bills atleast so you can comfortably LDAR