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It's Over I’ve got some deep sensory overloading issues and i cannot control my life anymore.

Eternatus

Eternatus

Elliot Rodger’s cross carrier
Joined
Feb 6, 2024
Posts
11
I’m 23. Yes I’m also blackpilled, khv, whatever.

Problem is that, even when I am alone, wich is most of the time, I cannot control myself and grasp the amount of time I be wasting over. I don’t wanna talk about medical labels and syndromes cause it’s tiring and a way of dodging responsibility, like: you have this, so that’s it.

I failed uni but I’m trying to learn things anyway, even during wageslaving. Still, everything becomes a fidget, media, tiktok, my hair, skin, mouth, everything is collateral to my accomplishments. A day goes by and I barely given any effort, so much that I didn’t even enjoy wasting it. I live paralized by my thoughts.

I have an interesting addiction for artificiality, compulsive obsession with Autotune (I often hear my voice in Autotune to calm myself) and I daydream about living in a hyper urbanized city like Shangai or Hong Kong. I’m from Rome Italy so the opposite world. Im stuck and i don’t know how to move forward and exit my fixations.
 
Last edited:
Find some copes and LDAR
 
I failed uni but I’m trying to learn things anyway, even during wageslaving. Still, everything becomes a fidget, media, tiktok, my hair, skin, mouth, everything is collateral to my accomplishments. A day goes by and I barely given any effort, so much that I didn’t even enjoy wasting it. I live paralized by my thoughts.
Brutal NDpill, I feel you brocel, every day is life on auto pilot
During highschool I would be constantly fidgeting and couldn't pay attention in class at all, day dreaming and playing with my hands and pencils, biting my nails, tapping on the desk, moving my feet constantly, I just could never feel comfortable staying still
 
I used to make beats on FL and here in Italy in 2015 we started to be submerged with trap music, the one with straight 808s, glockenspiel, beats that sounded made by Darkrai basically, and ultra modified vocals (check Sfera Ebbasta - Blunt & Sprite for reference).

But nonetheless i still was addicted even as a small child. That type of perfection haunted me, the robotic slamming of fastshifting vowels in my eardrum, makes me euforic, that was an early sign of being bp, of thinking that things can work out only in the intended purpose. I got to a point where I decided to try myself and it was so soothing to me that it became a coping mechanism, sometimes I give it hours.
 
I used to make beats on FL and here in Italy in 2015 we started to be submerged with trap music, the one with straight 808s, glockenspiel, beats that sounded made by Darkrai basically, and ultra modified vocals (check Sfera Ebbasta - Blunt & Sprite for reference).

But nonetheless i still was addicted even as a small child. That type of perfection haunted me, the robotic slamming of fastshifting vowels in my eardrum, makes me euforic, that was an early sign of being bp, of thinking that things can work out only in the intended purpose. I got to a point where I decided to try myself and it was so soothing to me that it became a coping mechanism, sometimes I give it hours.
share ur music here
 
share ur music here
I made lot of things with my voice but never published them, also they were never refined production, proving my lack of commitment. But I carry some habits from it.
 

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