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Serious I’ve been made fun of, talked about, stared at, etc. since I was 12 and I’m 26 now… what should I do next time?

TheGrayWolf

TheGrayWolf

1/10 | 5'4 | I am Tired and I am weak
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I’m 26, KHHV because I have a disorder and a very strange skull/head and very ugly face

I thought about showing the finger; or making some clear hand signals, or…..?

Since corona I’m not out that much bc I study online now. Only time I’m out is basically with my dog, sometimes in a town. My mom shops groceries.

Most fuckers don’t even try to hide it. I’ve overheard “monster” or similar insults so many times. Or “very ugly” etc. or “look at this guy”, “how the fuck does he look like”. Etc.

All those thousands of people (in these 14 years) hurt and bullied me!

Now, next time I’m at least 75% sure someone (stranger or strangers) reacts to me negatively (talk about, stare, laugh) because of my face what should I do, that won’t get me into trouble (in Far Cry 6). Most of the time I’m 100% sure. But when I’m 70% I must be careful. I don’t wanna make a slicing motion (like I did today) if I’m only 70% sure they’re making fun of me etc. ?
 
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I’m 26, KHHV because I have a disorder and a very strange skull/head and very ugly face

Since corona I’m not out that much bc I study online now. Only time I’m out is basically with my dog, sometimes in a town. My mom shops groceries.

Most fuckers don’t even try to hide it. I’ve overheard “monster” or similar insults so many times. Or “very ugly” etc. or “look at this guy”, “how the fuck does he look like”. Etc.

All those thousands of people (in these 14 years) hurt and bullied me!

Now, next time I’m at least 90% sure someone (stranger or strangers) reacts to me negatively (talk about, stare, laugh) because of my face what should I do, that won’t get me into trouble (in Far Cry 6). Most of the time I’m 100% sure. But when I’m 70% I must be careful. I don’t wanna make a slicing motion (like I did today) if I’m only 70% sure they’re making fun of me etc. ?
MAKE tERrorist STRIKE TAKE REVENGE ON YOUR ENEMIES BECOME OUR HERE AND PROVE THEM ALL THAT YOU ARE REAL jokER THERE IS NOT OTHER WAY FOR INCELS LIKE US (IN VIDEO GAME)
 
Life isn't fair. :feelsbadman::feelscry::feelsbadman:
 
Gymmaxxing is the only solution so you can at least try to intimidate them physically, or have a better chance at beating the fuck out of them; not doing anything will make you look like a cuck, but just verbally insulting them back could just result in you looking like a sperg. :society:
 
MAKE tERrorist STRIKE TAKE REVENGE ON YOUR ENEMIES BECOME OUR HERE AND PROVE THEM ALL THAT YOU ARE REAL jokER THERE IS NOT OTHER WAY FOR INCELS LIKE US (IN VIDEO GAME)
In Far Cry 6 of course :feelsjuice: disclaimer: not IRL…:feelsjuice:
 
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Gymmaxxing is the only solution so you can at least try to intimidate them physically, or have a better chance at beating the fuck out of them; not doing anything will make you look like a cuck, but just verbally insulting them back could just result in you looking like a sperg. :society:
Problem is I’m fucking 5‘4/1.62m short, if I say something which they feel threatened they probably will call the police.

I’d rather wish that people think I’m an incel than just some loser virgin or even asexual (they might think that bc I look autistic). I wish more people knew what incels are. I wish they brought it on TV here so my mom knows what I’m going though (I’m 100% sure she doesn’t know of this word or the movement bc her English isn’t good). I’m not a bad person. I’m just treated like shit by society
 
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Your avi mogs us all. :smonk:
 
This is no way to live brocel. :fuk:
:feelscry::cryfeels: I really wish you could have a talk with my mum and tell her what we’re / I am going through. She’s a ”anyone can be happy“ type
 
Better to ignore them.

990a647a8b68f87f6bee0b4fa36192d1
 
Good advice, but easier said than done if you realise how disrespectful they are PLUS the implications (too insecure and ugly to get a girlfriend)
I think it's hard to ignore someone disrespectful when you're forced to work or live with him.
But ignoring some asshole who you see for the first time and will never see again, seems more easy.
 
use it as motivation for vengeance
 
MAKE tERrorist STRIKE TAKE REVENGE ON YOUR ENEMIES BECOME OUR HERE AND PROVE THEM ALL THAT YOU ARE REAL jokER THERE IS NOT OTHER WAY FOR INCELS LIKE US (IN VIDEO GAME)
 
These are the same people who complacently believe they would utterly dazzle celebrities, and admirable individuals who contributed something to history, with their pretentiously benevolent personalities. For example, imagine being so ostentatious that you think you would kick it back with Diogenes of Sinope and honestly discuss some philosophical subject despite being the type of person he would openly urinate on.

Just call them out on it.
I will in the future. Problem is they are strangers, who knows if they’ll „call it in“
 
I'll join this discussion:

Okay. I'll start:

Story One:

I've suffered from Major Depressive Disorder(MDD) and Generalized Anxiety Disorder(GAD) since I was nine or ten. This led to me entering a group therapy program when I was fourteen, where I met a young girl named Shannon.

Shannon was anxious and had social anxiety/depression. However, Shannon was treated fairly well in the program. I, however, I was denigrated by both psychologists and youth. A certain "redhead" psychologist would frequently criticize me because I struggled to make eye contact or speak to other youth. I had to use stress balls to control my anxiety, which made me a source of amusement for the other youth in the group. They whispered and laughed at me, but treated Shannon like a queen.

To shorten the story, I'll say this: We were placed into separate therapy groups due to "unintended problems"(Negatively "influencing" a female of higher status). Years later, she did some "lovely things" to me after volunteering in the psychiatric hospital.

That situation has always bothered me. Anyway, moving on...

Story: Two:

I lived in a youth commune for some time. There, I was harassed/bullied by Tyrone and Chadlito. Tyrone took pictures of my naked body(I was in the male bathroom cleaning myself) and started laughing at my child-like appearance and fairly small phallus size with his roommate. He also threw dice at my room door each night and would play loud "rap" music at maximum volume to disturb me.

Chadlito, however, was much more subtle. He would peak into my room and, on occasion, steal my items. He also liked to gossip about me("He's a weirdo", "He's a freak", "He puts food in bags and goes outside to eat alone") and especially loved recording me. This led to him recording me while I was sleeping(I have sexsomnia), which led to the shelter boys/girls laughing at my "sexual speech". Note that the shelter girls had already mocked me previously for my feminine voice and autistic, avoidant behavior.

Because my case manager divulged my ASD diagnosis freely, I was a prime target for bullying and abuse from other youth. Chadlito eventually tried to have me evicted from the commune, which happened after I started staying in my commune room most of the time to avoid being shoved into desks by him(Demonstrating his "machismo" against an innocent aspie).

It is painful to have ASD, MDD, GAD, PTSD(It was already present from childhood trauma), and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria/RSD. I would've likely roped if not for my obsessive fantasizing from ASD.

You're reminding me of my first stint in group therapy. Youth would nearly always overlook me. Some blatantly insulted me and made statements such as "Intellau, you know no one wants to partner with you. Go over to the table and sit alone", "Tsk"(Directed at me), "No one likes him! He acts like a female! Why do I have to go to the 'Quiet Room'?".

The only exception was when a certain kind youth joined my group. He treated me respectfully and showed concern for my obvious anxiety and social ineptitude; I was his partner for one group assignment, and it went very well.

I have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria from ASD/ADHD. In those days, this was the sort of personality I had:

View attachment 517793

View attachment 517797


My father would often denigrate me for my autistic traits and sometimes hit me. I was a heavily-depressed/anxious "puppet" for Normies to string around. I wasn't even comfortable with asking to go to the bathroom or looking around the therapy room due to fear of criticism.

History:



Yes, I remember my final day in group therapy well. I was heavily depressed, as usual. It was cloudy and raining. A certain Black youth told me, "Intellau, go over there."(As usual), and I obeyed him out of a desire for peaceful group time. A kid by the name of "Sean", another Black youth, criticized my writing and said "Wow....Intellau's writing is terrible"(He was handing out our goal sheets for the day); he also made sure to read my "discharge" certificate. I kept my discharge secret so I wouldn't be laughed at by my group "mates".

And as usual, on the drive home, the young girls in my transportation van started hitting me and drawing on me. Why? Simple:



Depressing day.

Very common. Most male teenagers look at me like I am a young child. My height is between 5'2 - 5'3.

Indeed. In group therapy, a twelve-year-old Black boy towered over me and called me a "short girl". He would snicker and say "Tch" at me during group line-ups. I was 15.

View attachment 558195

Next Year:

View attachment 558196

Such painful fiction:



Four years later...

Aspie John is walking to the dinner tray rack of the psych ward he currently resides in, when he notices a familiar face: Anxious Jane.

It is customary for volunteers and nurses to hand patients their trays, but Anxious Jane ignores Aspie John. As he prepares to grab his tray, Anxious Jane quickly walks towards him, makes hand-fiddling gestures and says, "What's your name?" in a mocking tone. She then briefly reads his bracelet and grabs his tray, holding it forcefully as he tries to take it from her.

From kindergarten to second grade, I had a single friend. He stuttered sometimes, but was initially kind to me. Later, he integrated with the NT kids and left me alone, leaving me friendless. I'd pace the playground alone until the teachers ordered us to line up. After that, I was homeschooled until 8th grade.

Mother placed me in a Jewish program for children. I was too anxious to socialize. I kept my head down while sweating for the two sessions I attended. Then she placed me in group therapy, where I was bullied.

Yes. I have chronic constipation from something called "Anorectal Malformation".

I used to pace the bathroom floor in extreme pain while thinking of group therapy.

I've experienced this "firsthand"; a psychiatric nurse said "Hello Su" to me because I was (anxiously) fidgeting with a pencil in my hospital room. This is despite the fact that ASD-related fidgeting was already documented in my mental health history. I am a short ethnic male. Another hospital patient deliberately walked past me twice and insulted me as I was calling a relative on the hospital phone because he thought my hat was "stupid". He received no punishment.

Shannon Rose Bosanac enjoyed three luxurious stays in the same psychiatric hospital. Each time, she was treated like a deity by hospital staff.

And of-course, there was group therapy. I've explained that already

...



I still remember cowering into a ball inside my room as the male youths stood outside my door laughing at my sexual sleep-talking. It was then that I realized "sexsomnia" was one of my ASD symptoms. I still had "fluids" and sweat on my body from the act.


Sadly, Chadlito used this fact to torment me in the youth commune; he and his friends would constantly slam their room doors to startle me. I'd have to block my ears.

He'd go into his room and start speaking Spanish in an extremely cocky tone afterwards(Vile laughter).

A certain Chad called me his "buddy" twice. He also laughed at my voice(feminine)/appearance, threatened to "kick me around", and laughed at me often because I was mentally ill. This was in a shared living environment.

I am 5'3(120lbs) and he is 6'0+.

Yes. When I lived in a shelter, years ago, I watched a certain Tyrone constantly smoke marijuana and sleep with girls of every race. He was over 6' and very arrogant. The man frequently laughed at me with his shelter friends and threatened to assault me.

I was grateful to see him leave.

Countless times since I was a young child. They'd laugh:

Funny Faces GIF


View attachment 579834
(This is how I look when I start fidgeting with objects. Strangers would look at me in disgust or laugh at me, which is why I hid it when I was an adolescent)

Make Threatening Gestures:

penguin random house bully GIF by Penguin Books UK

(They've uttered insults at me; called me a "sweaty punk"; threatened me with violence)
 

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