I have this memory that keeps replaying in my mind and it's absolutely brutal. This blonde, blue eyed pretty boy with a perfect face working at this fastfood restaurant. I can still remember him behind the counter and the looks female costumers gave him as they ordered their food. When it was my turn to order I felt completely and utterly mogged. Here I was this deformed brute with a receding hairline at 18 looking at this man who was likely older than me and yet looked younger with a perfect face and who even as I ordered has women glancing at him and either ignoring or feeling disgust towards me.
The absolute anger and jealousy I felt in that moment cannot describe. It's a much worse feeling than seeing an attractive woman in public because at least when you see an attractive woman it's almost fair that she should be with an attractive man. When you see an attractive man and you have to bare witness to all women including those far below you in looks give him attention it feels outrageous and unfair. You'll never lose your virginity because the women that you should've fucked in a perfect world want to fuck this mogger.
Infuriating.
The absolute anger and jealousy I felt in that moment cannot describe. It's a much worse feeling than seeing an attractive woman in public because at least when you see an attractive woman it's almost fair that she should be with an attractive man. When you see an attractive man and you have to bare witness to all women including those far below you in looks give him attention it feels outrageous and unfair. You'll never lose your virginity because the women that you should've fucked in a perfect world want to fuck this mogger.
Infuriating.
