The years before I was blackpilled but tried to find some glimmer of hope in order to doubt it's truth. I would often believe my parents's bluepills and try to convince myself that
I would meet a girl eventually. Last year I had a female friend and she would laugh with my stories and I thought I was being a picky volcel for not giving her much attention.
My coping was top notch and it gave me enough of confidence to survive inceldom. Of course, a few months later she was dating a Chad and I was nothing but a forgotten
memory.
It was during this summer that I started to embrace the darkness. I used to think that I'm a mentalcel but seeing how Chads and Normies talk I realized that on the inside
I'm no different than the average male. IT'S THE OUTSIDE THAT MATTERS AND FUCKS EVERYTHING UP. Face is what determines everything. Even the most cold hearted,
malevolent and bitchy Stacy becomes funny and playful when Chad is around. A girl's personality changes depending on who she talks to. Us subhumans get to see the shitty
side of women while most men have experienced a girl at her best. As summer passed, I realized that it's my looks that hold me back from EVERYTHING.
I'm currently at my last year in uni and practically invisible to eveyone. Being ignored by people is an active form of rejection. If humans don't speak to you out of genouine
interest then you are ugly. Women don't give a shit about me. I talked a bit with a 3/10 high T chubby female a couple of days ago and she wouldn't look me a second time.
It's fucking over. I'm in a class with 20 girls and not a single one will fuck me. Their faces are so cold and emotionless when I'm around but when Chad comes they get excited
and happy. I can literally count the times I have talked with an FHO because they that few. Maybe 3 or 4 times during the last month while other men get to fuck 10 girls
during this time.
I'm in perfect resonance with the blackpill right now. Reality is more brutal than it has ever been. I'm a living ghost. Tommorow I have a class and I'm scared to go because
I will witness yet another sui fuel. I have to be strong and get through it so that I can LDAR at home in a few months. Also, another 4 months of life will be spent studying
and rotting in my room. If you think about it I'm losing precious lifetime just so that I can stay home, LDAR and waste more years. There is no escpape. Some guys will date,
some guys will marry, some others will fuck during these 4 months yet I have to throw them away due to some misfortune at genetic gamble.
I would meet a girl eventually. Last year I had a female friend and she would laugh with my stories and I thought I was being a picky volcel for not giving her much attention.
My coping was top notch and it gave me enough of confidence to survive inceldom. Of course, a few months later she was dating a Chad and I was nothing but a forgotten
memory.
It was during this summer that I started to embrace the darkness. I used to think that I'm a mentalcel but seeing how Chads and Normies talk I realized that on the inside
I'm no different than the average male. IT'S THE OUTSIDE THAT MATTERS AND FUCKS EVERYTHING UP. Face is what determines everything. Even the most cold hearted,
malevolent and bitchy Stacy becomes funny and playful when Chad is around. A girl's personality changes depending on who she talks to. Us subhumans get to see the shitty
side of women while most men have experienced a girl at her best. As summer passed, I realized that it's my looks that hold me back from EVERYTHING.
I'm currently at my last year in uni and practically invisible to eveyone. Being ignored by people is an active form of rejection. If humans don't speak to you out of genouine
interest then you are ugly. Women don't give a shit about me. I talked a bit with a 3/10 high T chubby female a couple of days ago and she wouldn't look me a second time.
It's fucking over. I'm in a class with 20 girls and not a single one will fuck me. Their faces are so cold and emotionless when I'm around but when Chad comes they get excited
and happy. I can literally count the times I have talked with an FHO because they that few. Maybe 3 or 4 times during the last month while other men get to fuck 10 girls
during this time.
I'm in perfect resonance with the blackpill right now. Reality is more brutal than it has ever been. I'm a living ghost. Tommorow I have a class and I'm scared to go because
I will witness yet another sui fuel. I have to be strong and get through it so that I can LDAR at home in a few months. Also, another 4 months of life will be spent studying
and rotting in my room. If you think about it I'm losing precious lifetime just so that I can stay home, LDAR and waste more years. There is no escpape. Some guys will date,
some guys will marry, some others will fuck during these 4 months yet I have to throw them away due to some misfortune at genetic gamble.
