It's not that I can't focus/am stressed when doing anything but rotting in bed mindlessly, I remember now: I don't enjoy anything.

[Deleted member 7448]

I guess I've forgotten this recently. I didn't just sink into this routine of rotting for years, watching sitcoms and doing fuck all on my laptop while laying in bed for 16 hours a day. No, that didn't happen cause I was too stressed/anxious/couldn't focus on anything but this (well, maybe a bit). It's that I genuinely don't enjoy anything in life. So laying in bed rotting with my laptop next to me, not even engaging my brain properly - that's life for me. That's the comfiest thing to do, that's the only thing that doesn't actively drain energy or is a chore for me. Yes, this is what I chose to do. Too bad I won't be able to do it for much longer, because anything else in life sucks.

I proved it to myself by reading a book. I used to read quite a lot even just 2 years ago, but I even burned out on that. Not even books or games, nothing is really enjoyable. So I forced myself to at least read something and not just rot. Well, I focused and read the book in 2 days. Wasn't stressful or anything. I just felt ... nothing. It was a classic too, "Dune". Was supposed to be good, tbh I didn't feel shit, thought it was kinda overrated. Maybe the thousands of hours I've spent reading Chinese/Korean novels burned me out on reading, since they're much more packed with character development, plot, and more enjoyable things than thinly veiled social commentary.

Damn I'm going to hate having to work. I already hate studying, and I'm slacking off as much as possible. Work is going to be so much worse. All I want to do is lay in bed rotting, not forced to wageslave for pennies, doing boring things that drain my energy all day, surrounded by normies.

 

[caniwin]

I get what you're saying. I used to have many more hobbies/interests, but over the past few years, it's all slowly faded. Everything feels pointless now. Everyone else seems to have some driving force that motivates them to do something with their lives, even if it's to get out of a bad situation. I used to have that too, but it's gone now. All I feel now is soudade for the happiness I felt until a couple years ago. I can get bursts of enjoyment, like when I'm immersed in a video game or eating a good meal. However, the empty feeling returns as soon as it ends. I've been trying to escape it for three years. I've tried so many things, but nothing has worked. I swear, if I ever crack the code and find a way out of it, I'll make a post on this site describing the solution in full.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

I get what you're saying. I used to have many more hobbies/interests, but over the past few years, it's all slowly faded. Everything feels pointless now. Everyone else seems to have some driving force that motivates them to do something with their lives, even if it's to get out of a bad situation. I used to have that too, but it's gone now. All I feel now is soudade for the happiness I felt until a couple years ago. I can get bursts of enjoyment, like when I'm immersed in a video game or eating a good meal. However, the empty feeling returns as soon as it ends. I've been trying to escape it for three years. I've tried so many things, but nothing has worked. I swear, if I ever crack the code and find a way out of it, I'll make a post on this site describing the solution in full.

I wish you good luck, perhaps if you're young you can still turn it around. In my case I've never had a lot of hobbies, I've been like this since I was a kid, just rotting in front of a screen. Of course it got worse when muh depreshun started, but even before that I didn't do much of anything.

 

[Emba]

The spice must flow.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

The spice must flow.

Are you a big fan? I thought it was pretty underwhelming unfortunately.

 

[Emba]

Are you a big fan? I thought it was pretty underwhelming unfortunately.

Sometimes my heartplug falls out of it.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

Sometimes my heartplug falls out of it.

Just googled heartplug, apparently it's a movie-only thing, can't recall it from the books.

 

[ionlycopenow]

I know that feel all too well.

 

[Emba]

Just googled heartplug, apparently it's a movie-only thing, can't recall it from the books.

Brutal moviepill...

Maybe i need to read the book again.

Or maybe you need to see that version of dune... It was bizzare.

 

[Deleted member 7448]

Brutal moviepill...

Maybe i need to read the book again.

Or maybe you need to see that version of dune... It was bizzare.

Yeah I just googled it and I saw Sting's face. Weird. I hate musicians and actors, overpaid, overpraised pieces of shit.

 

[Emba]

Yeah I just googled it and I saw Sting's face. Weird. I hate musicians and actors, overpaid, overpraised pieces of shit.

Sure.