hänonlutka
Officer
★★★
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2018
- Posts
- 696
All the time I was thinking:
Why I have to be this ugly? Probably just bad luck. Maybe I can fix it.
The people that hurted and disappointed me? I randomly got to know the wrong ones
The terrible femoid experience and the endless rejections by them? Just the wrong femoids. There will be some good ones out there.
Being not competent in anything I try and even consciously training? Just not talented in this field. I will finde something were I am good at.
Maybe also I am the reason for all of my failures???
But more and more I didn't believed this anymore. It was just to much. So many bad experience in everything. Never something that worked just well. Never really lucky in anything substantial. Never really success in anything I worked hard for... just the low average at max.
It's to much for just being unlucky. It can be just random that all of this is happening to me. There must be something higher playing against me.
I am praying a lot since 3 years. I mostly started I guess cuz I needed someone to talk to at least. Was thinking maybe god is testing me. Like in the book of Job. Maybe it's gods punishment for something I did as a kid and can't remember probably anymore. Maybe it's some Hindu stuff that I behaved badly in my previous live and I have to suffer now for it. Maybe it's just an higher evil power which is in controll and like to punish me.
I just don't know. But I can't believe all of this is happening randomly. Someone is playing against me. It's the only proper explanation to all what happend to me.
U guys have similar thoughts sometimes?
Why I have to be this ugly? Probably just bad luck. Maybe I can fix it.
The people that hurted and disappointed me? I randomly got to know the wrong ones
The terrible femoid experience and the endless rejections by them? Just the wrong femoids. There will be some good ones out there.
Being not competent in anything I try and even consciously training? Just not talented in this field. I will finde something were I am good at.
Maybe also I am the reason for all of my failures???
But more and more I didn't believed this anymore. It was just to much. So many bad experience in everything. Never something that worked just well. Never really lucky in anything substantial. Never really success in anything I worked hard for... just the low average at max.
It's to much for just being unlucky. It can be just random that all of this is happening to me. There must be something higher playing against me.
I am praying a lot since 3 years. I mostly started I guess cuz I needed someone to talk to at least. Was thinking maybe god is testing me. Like in the book of Job. Maybe it's gods punishment for something I did as a kid and can't remember probably anymore. Maybe it's some Hindu stuff that I behaved badly in my previous live and I have to suffer now for it. Maybe it's just an higher evil power which is in controll and like to punish me.
I just don't know. But I can't believe all of this is happening randomly. Someone is playing against me. It's the only proper explanation to all what happend to me.
U guys have similar thoughts sometimes?