I constantly blamed myself for not developing myself socially.
i was around 13 when the covid lockdown happened. I was a fucking autist retard that spent all that time locked away playing hypixel by myself, and also kept doing that for multiple years after that.
I kept coming up with theories about how the reason that i'm shitty at socialing today, is bc i deprived myself of those key years in developing myself as a social being. But this weekend at the subway i was proven wrong....
There were two normie, good looking friends, that seemed to be on their way to some party or club (something along those lines).
And they were talking about "back in covid when we were just autistic nerds that were playing videogames all the time", and how they "first changed years later". This made me realise.... They repeated the exact same "mistake" i thought i made, but yet they are on their way to a lovely party with lots of foids and im not. It made me realise that it didn't matter what i did, that i would always end up this way, purely because of the way i look and my genetic makeup.
It was determined from the beginning, the same way as it was for those two chad-lite normiefags. No matter how much they sabotaged themselves when they were younger, they still made it, purely because their genetics are superior to mine.
But i find it calming in some way, at least i don't need to think about what i could've done differently to not end up in my situation, because this is simply my fate, and there is nothing that i can do about it - and thats okay
i was around 13 when the covid lockdown happened. I was a fucking autist retard that spent all that time locked away playing hypixel by myself, and also kept doing that for multiple years after that.
I kept coming up with theories about how the reason that i'm shitty at socialing today, is bc i deprived myself of those key years in developing myself as a social being. But this weekend at the subway i was proven wrong....
There were two normie, good looking friends, that seemed to be on their way to some party or club (something along those lines).
And they were talking about "back in covid when we were just autistic nerds that were playing videogames all the time", and how they "first changed years later". This made me realise.... They repeated the exact same "mistake" i thought i made, but yet they are on their way to a lovely party with lots of foids and im not. It made me realise that it didn't matter what i did, that i would always end up this way, purely because of the way i look and my genetic makeup.
It was determined from the beginning, the same way as it was for those two chad-lite normiefags. No matter how much they sabotaged themselves when they were younger, they still made it, purely because their genetics are superior to mine.
But i find it calming in some way, at least i don't need to think about what i could've done differently to not end up in my situation, because this is simply my fate, and there is nothing that i can do about it - and thats okay
