No hanging out. No real friends. No love. No birthday essentially and no holidays. Just a lot of time being alone. Always alone. All. The. Time.
It's crazy. I wonder how it took me as long as it did to get blackpilled. Looking back, my life is shaped by my misshapen face. You go back to when I was still a teen and swap my face with that of a soytok pretty boy and everything up to right now would do a 180.
The biggest challenge now is surviving this miserable existence I never asked for, considering the fact that even if I was brave enough to end it, the consequences on my family would be catastrophic. Gotta learn to not just survive, but find some meaning through copes and hobbies. This ain't easy. Being on the outskirts all the time, the observer. I'm an alien. In my own country, amongst my own people, I never belonged. Just an outcast.
Trying to keep my head above water. But if there's a God on the other side, we'll have plenty to talk about when I'm gone.
It's crazy. I wonder how it took me as long as it did to get blackpilled. Looking back, my life is shaped by my misshapen face. You go back to when I was still a teen and swap my face with that of a soytok pretty boy and everything up to right now would do a 180.
The biggest challenge now is surviving this miserable existence I never asked for, considering the fact that even if I was brave enough to end it, the consequences on my family would be catastrophic. Gotta learn to not just survive, but find some meaning through copes and hobbies. This ain't easy. Being on the outskirts all the time, the observer. I'm an alien. In my own country, amongst my own people, I never belonged. Just an outcast.
Trying to keep my head above water. But if there's a God on the other side, we'll have plenty to talk about when I'm gone.
