Is this bpd?

[trrrrrsarescary]

I have really bad mood swings that get set off by getting stared at, getting treated coldly by people, fucking up a social interaction due to autism, or even literally just sitting and suddenly thinking about the times I've gotten stared at

During these episodes it's the most extreme fucking anger and rage imaginable, it's like every nerve in my body is on fire with the rage and seething hatred of 5 men whos daughters have been raped, it's actually scary as fuck how angry I get, the most murderous thoughts enter my mind towards the people who stare at me and mistreat me, I start seething and internally bawling my eyes out over how ugly I am, meanwhile im just in the kitchen making food or blasting music on my headphones, they usually last about an hour or two and happen at least once or twice a day, and it's truly uncontrollable whilst I'm in it, I have to just wait it out basically, as soon as it's over I feel like a POS for even having these thoughts and I feel sad

I also have severe panic attacks where I feel like I'm on the verge of mutilating myself out of terror, and these fits of rage are genuinely strong enough to stop these panic attacks dead in their tracks, but then I panic over the fact that I feel so much intense rage and I feel like I'm insane and that makes me panic too

Does this sound like bpd or something? Ik you guys think it's meme disorder only foids get but like what else could describe these fits of satan level rage?

 

[all this time]

is this trees

 

[trrrrrsarescary]

is this trees

Indeed

 

[Todd Thundercock]

BPD is not a meme disorder. I wish it was.

 

[Balding Subhuman]

Could be. My sister has BPD and she does indeed get these rage fits quite regularly. Pretty much anything that stresses her can set her off.

 

[Todd’s Pay Pig]

I have really bad mood swings that get set off by getting stared at, getting treated coldly by people, fucking up a social interaction due to autism, or even literally just sitting and suddenly thinking about the times I've gotten stared at

During these episodes it's the most extreme fucking anger and rage imaginable, it's like every nerve in my body is on fire with the rage and seething hatred of 5 men whos daughters have been raped, it's actually scary as fuck how angry I get, the most murderous thoughts enter my mind towards the people who stare at me and mistreat me, I start seething and internally bawling my eyes out over how ugly I am, meanwhile im just in the kitchen making food or blasting music on my headphones, they usually last about an hour or two and happen at least once or twice a day, and it's truly uncontrollable whilst I'm in it, I have to just wait it out basically, as soon as it's over I feel like a POS for even having these thoughts and I feel sad

I also have severe panic attacks where I feel like I'm on the verge of mutilating myself out of terror, and these fits of rage are genuinely strong enough to stop these panic attacks dead in their tracks, but then I panic over the fact that I feel so much intense rage and I feel like I'm insane and that makes me panic too

Does this sound like bpd or something? Ik you guys think it's meme disorder only foids get but like what else could describe these fits of satan level rage?

Doubtful it’s BPD.

It’s probably just as you put it ie a mood disorder.

BPD is far far more complex than simply that and though they are filled with rage quite often and shame only the really lower functioning ones rage openly.

@Todd Thundercock’s little Rowan and my sweet little Selkie foid are essentially quiet borderlines which means they generally act literally quiet and composed as well outwardly kind, sociable and funny.

Inwardly though quiet borderlines like them are typically very angry and filled with rage because they didn’t receive enough of the proper kinds of love from mommy when they were little girls but they generally turn their rage inward and don’t release it onto others.

The rage filled stereotypical borderline that does release their anger onto others is very well represented by Angelina Jolie’s Lisa character in the old BPD movie Girl Interrupted.

 

[SemenRetentionPath]

lmao i like your profile picture and name

 

[SemenRetentionPath]

i also suspect i have BPD... and autism i don't have diagnosis but i'm sure...

but in my case is huge fear of abandonment because of childhood experiences...

i also sometimes get very angry at my mom, not murderous thoughts or anything violent, but i put all the blame on her about my life and rant for 30 minutes or so...

these are based on real experiences, for example my mom took the kids away and we had to move a lot from city to city growing up, which made me very lonely

when i was 15 i meet a dude who was very smart and didn't have much friends, we had similar life stories, and i got obsessed with him, not in a gay way, he just became my "favorite person" that's a BPD symptom... and i will say it twice, not in a gay way, we would just do manly stuff together, and because of autism he was the first person that was interested in me in spite of my oddities and he genuinely liked me as a friend. When I lost his friendship because of distance and time, i went into a psychotic spiral of regret and wanting to go back in time, and i repeat, i'm not gay, but he was someone i really looked up to and was a strong part of my identity. Not having a father fueled part of that, because he was the son of a military man and had manly attributes that i wanted to learn from. But i'm not gay i swear. If someone has any doubts about why i'm not gay i can explain. I just mention all of this because it's part of BPD (fear of abandonment, emptiness, lack of identity, mood swings, obsessions with people, violent rage). I later got a similar obsession with a woman and this time it was romantic/sexual interest in contrast to my former friend who i only liked as a friend and as part of my ideintity.

To close, if you suspect you have BPD is because you made your research and it somehow resonated with you, and yes, violent rage is part of BPD from what i know, although not everyone manifests all the same symptoms... i wonder if some childhood experiences are behind your rage attacks?

 

[SyrianSchizoSage]

i also suspect i have BPD... and autism i don't have diagnosis but i'm sure...

but in my case is huge fear of abandonment because of childhood experiences...

i also sometimes get very angry at my mom, not murderous thoughts or anything violent, but i put all the blame on her about my life and rant for 30 minutes or so...

these are based on real experiences, for example my mom took the kids away and we had to move a lot from city to city growing up, which made me very lonely

when i was 15 i meet a dude who was very smart and didn't have much friends, we had similar life stories, and i got obsessed with him, not in a gay way, he just became my "favorite person" that's a BPD symptom... and i will say it twice, not in a gay way, we would just do manly stuff together, and because of autism he was the first person that was interested in me in spite of my oddities and he genuinely liked me as a friend. When I lost his friendship because of distance and time, i went into a psychotic spiral of regret and wanting to go back in time, and i repeat, i'm not gay, but he was someone i really looked up to and was a strong part of my identity. Not having a father fueled part of that, because he was the son of a military man and had manly attributes that i wanted to learn from. But i'm not gay i swear. If someone has any doubts about why i'm not gay i can explain. I just mention all of this because it's part of BPD (fear of abandonment, emptiness, lack of identity, mood swings, obsessions with people, violent rage). I later got a similar obsession with a woman and this time it was romantic/sexual interest in contrast to my former friend who i only liked as a friend and as part of my ideintity.

To close, if you suspect you have BPD is because you made your research and it somehow resonated with you, and yes, violent rage is part of BPD from what i know, although not everyone manifests all the same symptoms... i wonder if some childhood experiences are behind your rage attacks?

Wow I had a similar experience in my life.
The buddy I was with was more like a fraternal bond. As to father figure I guess I would say heroes from comic book cartoons filled that aspect of my life.
Thank you for sharing
I am starting to suspect their might be something going on with me but I am not sure I want to get a diagnoses it might ruin some job opportunities.
Also you don't need to say I am not gay a hundred times. You just need a disclaimer once.

 

[EcstasyCel]

Bpd is real shit man