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Narcissism - This is the biggest part of it. Incels generally believe that they are "good" people and that they have so much more to offer a woman than your typical "Chad." There's often a heightened esteem for their own attributes, most often intelligence, well beyond what is actually merited. A lot of it is they've believed they were special or amazing most of their young lives and they now believe that to such a degree that they feel they don't have to do anything to get the kind of love and affection they want.
They genuinely feel they deserve a relationship for the sole fact that they exist. They don't feel like they should have to work on themselves and grow as people. For them, sex and relationships is just a given. It's not something you have to work for.
This idea that they're "nice guys" is intrinsically tied to their personality and their view of themselves. The reason they revert to shrieking whenever someone questions their "nice" credentials is they tie that to their value as a person; "nice" is "good" and "good" is worthy of love, if you question the "nice" then you are implying they are not good people and therefore not worthy of love.
Part of that is developing plans rather than just letting things happen and people be people. When they approach someone, chances are good they've already spent time thinking about that person and they've developed a "plan" for how things will go. Sometimes it's just a plan to have sex or it can be as much as plans to date or marry and have kids. They see things go a certain way because they want it to and then when they're rejected it hurts doubly because the woman didn't follow the plan.
To be fair, a lot of people have this problem. Incels just weaponized it.
Lack of self awareness - Most incels are painfully lacking in awareness. I can almost guarantee you the guy in the OP pic would have no trouble saying that to someone's face because they don't know that it sounds absolutely insane. For them, these things make sense because they feel wronged. They don't understand why they aren't getting what they think they deserve and instead of sitting down and saying "Hmm...well I refer to women as "femoids" and straight-faced advocate for government supported sexual slavery and that's probably creepy as hell, maybe I should revisit why I believe these things" they think "There's nothing wrong with me! It's other people who are the problem!"
I have yet to see someone who voluntarily identified as an incel say "Yes, I have scary views on women. I don't know how to handle that." Most incels who eventually realize that their crappy ideas about people and women are what gets in their way the most eventually stop becoming incels. Shockingly, once you stop treating other people like meat they actually like you more.
Misogyny - Most incels will claim to be "good" people with regards to how they treat women but if you really listen to how they treat and talk about women, their definition of "good" boils down to "I don't just smack any woman who annoys me and I don't abduct and rape them." They don't actually treat women well and a lot of them come out with stuff that would make James Bond tell them to take it down a notch.
Most incels view women as inherently inferior to men or, at bare minimum, that men are somehow more intelligent/practical/rational/reasonable etc than women and that women need men to survive. If you talk to incels about relationships it becomes crystal clear that they have no idea how to actually respect another person despite believing they do.
They also generally believe the woman they are owed should be "a 10." I've never seen a group of people so picky and demanding of potential partners. A lot of them have these wishlists of characteristics that range from the creepy to the outright insane and it highlights nicely that what they're looking for is a pet they can stick their dick in, not a partner.
It's also part of why anime is such a prevalent interest in the incel crowd. Anime presents these perfect incel women; virginal, submissive, non-threatening, and sexually open. Interest in anime itself doesn't necessarily equate to inceldom but I've yet to meet more than a handful of incels that weren't really into anime.
They genuinely feel they deserve a relationship for the sole fact that they exist. They don't feel like they should have to work on themselves and grow as people. For them, sex and relationships is just a given. It's not something you have to work for.
This idea that they're "nice guys" is intrinsically tied to their personality and their view of themselves. The reason they revert to shrieking whenever someone questions their "nice" credentials is they tie that to their value as a person; "nice" is "good" and "good" is worthy of love, if you question the "nice" then you are implying they are not good people and therefore not worthy of love.
Part of that is developing plans rather than just letting things happen and people be people. When they approach someone, chances are good they've already spent time thinking about that person and they've developed a "plan" for how things will go. Sometimes it's just a plan to have sex or it can be as much as plans to date or marry and have kids. They see things go a certain way because they want it to and then when they're rejected it hurts doubly because the woman didn't follow the plan.
To be fair, a lot of people have this problem. Incels just weaponized it.
Lack of self awareness - Most incels are painfully lacking in awareness. I can almost guarantee you the guy in the OP pic would have no trouble saying that to someone's face because they don't know that it sounds absolutely insane. For them, these things make sense because they feel wronged. They don't understand why they aren't getting what they think they deserve and instead of sitting down and saying "Hmm...well I refer to women as "femoids" and straight-faced advocate for government supported sexual slavery and that's probably creepy as hell, maybe I should revisit why I believe these things" they think "There's nothing wrong with me! It's other people who are the problem!"
I have yet to see someone who voluntarily identified as an incel say "Yes, I have scary views on women. I don't know how to handle that." Most incels who eventually realize that their crappy ideas about people and women are what gets in their way the most eventually stop becoming incels. Shockingly, once you stop treating other people like meat they actually like you more.
Misogyny - Most incels will claim to be "good" people with regards to how they treat women but if you really listen to how they treat and talk about women, their definition of "good" boils down to "I don't just smack any woman who annoys me and I don't abduct and rape them." They don't actually treat women well and a lot of them come out with stuff that would make James Bond tell them to take it down a notch.
Most incels view women as inherently inferior to men or, at bare minimum, that men are somehow more intelligent/practical/rational/reasonable etc than women and that women need men to survive. If you talk to incels about relationships it becomes crystal clear that they have no idea how to actually respect another person despite believing they do.
They also generally believe the woman they are owed should be "a 10." I've never seen a group of people so picky and demanding of potential partners. A lot of them have these wishlists of characteristics that range from the creepy to the outright insane and it highlights nicely that what they're looking for is a pet they can stick their dick in, not a partner.
It's also part of why anime is such a prevalent interest in the incel crowd. Anime presents these perfect incel women; virginal, submissive, non-threatening, and sexually open. Interest in anime itself doesn't necessarily equate to inceldom but I've yet to meet more than a handful of incels that weren't really into anime.
