If it was the physical act of sex in itself that I desired, I would not be on this forum; I would accumulate some wealth and travel to a country with cheap escorts to satiate such a superficial desire. Unfortunately, what I do long for is a rather idealistic conception of love — which is entirely unattainable in this despicable world, especially for a man such as myself; all I ever wanted was to be seen as a human being worthy of affection, intimacy, and just a hint of warmth. I have been denied any semblance of these experiences, any semblance of connection — and a hedonistic, empty physical act would never make me feel satisfied.
As stated, these ideals that I envision are unfeasible due to the mismatch between them and reality; they can never be realized because of the contemptible nature of women and the sentiment that underlies this wretched society, yet I cannot let go of this unrelenting need; hence, I will be forced to live the rest of my miserable days with these unmet needs.