what is a meaningful friendship to you? what does it consist of? how does it develop? i would like to know.
Aristotle separated friendship into 3 categories:
1. pleasure - friends who party together, enjoy a sport together, play video games together, indulge in drugs/alcohol/degeneracy, the uniting factor is that both members derive pleasure from a shared activity
2. utility - friends who mutually benefit from each other, a purely transactional relationship, ie friends who work on assignments together, or friends who increase each other's social network. (you can basically argue any social interaction to be a transactional one)
3. virtue - friends who are friends because they both perceive the other member to be virtuous & of high morality, ie someone who has strong integrity, honesty, or any other virtuous trait you can think of.
so then, what constitutes a meaningful friendship? i've asked a few people today, they mentioned someone you can rely on, to talk to about anything, someone who you can interact with authentically, so there's no need for social niceties, and someone who's similar to them. when i asked how they would go about acquiring such a friendship, they all said that they're just hoping it happens organically, so instead of pursuing it actively, they're just betting that they will find someone who becomes their close friend by chance of luck.
i think there are several important aspects that increase the likelihood of being able to develop a meaningful friendship with someone.
1. having a similar socioeconomic status - most people who come from a poorer background will hold an inherent animosity towards the richer & more privileged, it soon becomes clear how different the lifestyles of both members are, in the food they eat, clothes they wear, area they live in, spending habits, etc. it's similar to how lots of incels feel hatred towards attractive people for being born with better genetics. it's no one's fault, it's just emergent societal norms & biases that are so ingrained in our biology that dictates why we act the way we do. the only exception for this rule is when both members acknowledge the socioeconomic gap and talk about it, to be aware of their differences and hold beliefs/values in life that make it so that this factor doesn't affect their friendship (their friendship is built upon something greater & more important).
2. i think the point above extends to having a similar ethnicity, languages spoken, educational background, life experiences, age range, types of media consumption, political beliefs, sense of humour, attraction, gender, and many more
all these factors improve relatability, which i think is at the core of what allows a meaningful friendship to be built upon.
3. another important thing i think is as time passes, beliefs & values will change, so being able to understand each other but still disagree is important, as many friendships slowly drift apart once that familiar relatability is gone.
4. i also think exposure time / time spent together in proximity is also important, there are more opportunities for social interactions that can increase the likelihood of bonding. this is just like how romantic routes are chosen in visual novels when the player has to select which choice he will make that also determines the amount of time spent with any of the potential love interests.
5. lastly, i think having a shared greater purpose can also play a role, i have made 2 friends from incel spaces, friendships based solely on our inceldom, and there is an idea of this greater purpose, of wanting to do something for the community, to add value in this online sphere, to help other men who were like us before we became blackpilled, i think that sort of thing contributes to a meaningful friendship. maybe it's like how religious people bond over their shared greater purpose of god, or how people who want to create change or make a notable impact in a field can bond over that desire and passion for the field/discipline/community
i think all these factors help increase the likelihood for a meaningful friendship to develop, but at its fundamental core, if you had to select only the necessary factors, what would they be?
