A person's home is said to be the externalization of their personality, because the way they plan and decorate it reflects on the person who lives there. Recently, I had a maintenance person come out to my apartment because of a problem with my fridge. Upon entering my barren and empty room, he asked if I had just moved in. I did not realize the brutality of such a question until ruminating about it much later, realizing my shell of a room means I am a shell of a person. This little interaction pretty much encapsulates the quintessential subhumancel experience. Another good example is when I was talking with someone in the incel discord, and the possibility of meeting up irl was proposed. To which he mused that it would be futile for lack of something to do besides smoke weed or get drunk. At least with other people he said, they could go out and do stuff together.
I have always had difficulty coming up with an excuse whenever people ask "what do you do with all your free time". Because I am fully aware that at the center of my identity is a great emptiness. I have said before that I am a "man without qualities" (alluding to the novel) because my lifestyle is incongruous with the standards of social conformity. It can be said about me that I am a student, and that's pretty much it. I come home from my classes to an empty room and proceed to absorb myself in nothingness. I have no friends. I don't go out or have social media. I don't have hobbies or interests to pursue. No goals I believe I can attain. I don't even watch youtube videos or follow the news. I either rot on incel forums, lay in bed staring at the ceiling, or pace around my room. Basically, I am just waiting to die.
If there is something I believe in, it's that this emptiness is inside everyone. Everyone is LARPing as themselves, they are nothing but actors in their roles. The difference between me and these posers and sycophants, as I see it, is that I am burdened with an overabundance of consciousness. I unironically see everybody who lack this critical/introspective worldview as drooling retards. Which I guess is ironic I guess because they lifemog me to oblivion.
I have always had difficulty coming up with an excuse whenever people ask "what do you do with all your free time". Because I am fully aware that at the center of my identity is a great emptiness. I have said before that I am a "man without qualities" (alluding to the novel) because my lifestyle is incongruous with the standards of social conformity. It can be said about me that I am a student, and that's pretty much it. I come home from my classes to an empty room and proceed to absorb myself in nothingness. I have no friends. I don't go out or have social media. I don't have hobbies or interests to pursue. No goals I believe I can attain. I don't even watch youtube videos or follow the news. I either rot on incel forums, lay in bed staring at the ceiling, or pace around my room. Basically, I am just waiting to die.
If there is something I believe in, it's that this emptiness is inside everyone. Everyone is LARPing as themselves, they are nothing but actors in their roles. The difference between me and these posers and sycophants, as I see it, is that I am burdened with an overabundance of consciousness. I unironically see everybody who lack this critical/introspective worldview as drooling retards. Which I guess is ironic I guess because they lifemog me to oblivion.
