G
I want to share with you something that just happened to me, because it ended up really being eye opening to me and I'm still a little bit amazed at the whole affair.
To understand what happened, you need to know two things - first I lost a lot of hair and finally took a plunge and shaved my head. I'm talking months of depression. Second I'm struggling with mild social anxiety and lack confidence greatly.
Anyway, a week after the break up, my friends dragged me to a party. I still had insecurities about my bald head so I wasn't too much in the mood, but I went anyway. I tried my best too have a good time.
Then I spot a girl that is just unbelievably pretty. Perfect shape, gorgeous smile and beautiful face, you know just all over hot. I saw her and my first reaction was "There's no way a girl that prettiness would ever want to talk to a bald guy like me." And let me just emphasize that I was not thinking about her taking interest in me or liking me or anything like that... I genuinely thought a girl like her wouldn't want any kind of contact with me.
But then I fought "Fuck it. Maybe she does actually... Who am I to suppose what she wants." And you know, thinking I didn't have much too loose (after I lost tons of my hair), I went over and introduced myself. We had a nice little talk, she was really nice and genuinely happy to talk. Then I let her go her way, went my own and enjoyed my night. We talked a couple more time that night and that was that.
But after that night I figured it would be nice to see her again. I didn't have any hidden intention other than getting to know someone new. So I asked a common friend for her number and, after asking a panel of friends if that would be weird or perceived as an aggression, I sent her a little text that said "Hey, it's Matt from the party Saturday... Would like grabbing a coffee sometime ?"
Before sending it, my friends asked me if I was ready for her to say no. They asked me if she had a bf or if she was fauxflirting and to be fair, I had no idea. But I figured I didn't have much to loose. And I was ready for the fact that she might not want to hang out with me. And I thought that would be okay, that it wouldn't make me anything less as a person.
After sending the text, I put the phone down and starting talking with my friends about how the worst would be waiting for his answer and maybe he wouldn't answer at all ? But before the conversation was over my phone lit up and I add a text saying "Hey
I would love that actually !"
At that point I was ecstatic... I couldn't believe it, the most gorgeous girl ever willing to grab a coffee with me ?? WHAT ? We then arranged to meet the next day in the afternoon... Which was yesterday. And let me just say it went well
It was everything I hopped it would be, an honest, pleasurable chat with a stranger, that lasted just a bit too long (6h!!) to be innocent but totally without any kind of pressure. But the thing I found out, the whole point of that story and what really blew my mind is how insecure that girl is. She doesn't even see himself as pretty !!! Actually, the most pretty girl I ever saw probably couldn't believe that a bald guy like me just texted her out of the blue...
So this whole things got me thinking about how we perceive ourselves and other people... How we think other people perceive us. Maybe it's time to stop being so hard on ourselves, and wary of other people...
Edit : For the people wondering, I'm a 27y/o American Indian guy... I'm really sorry for the couple grumpy people that seems to still be struggling big time with their insecurities. You'll get there and we love you
To understand what happened, you need to know two things - first I lost a lot of hair and finally took a plunge and shaved my head. I'm talking months of depression. Second I'm struggling with mild social anxiety and lack confidence greatly.
Anyway, a week after the break up, my friends dragged me to a party. I still had insecurities about my bald head so I wasn't too much in the mood, but I went anyway. I tried my best too have a good time.
Then I spot a girl that is just unbelievably pretty. Perfect shape, gorgeous smile and beautiful face, you know just all over hot. I saw her and my first reaction was "There's no way a girl that prettiness would ever want to talk to a bald guy like me." And let me just emphasize that I was not thinking about her taking interest in me or liking me or anything like that... I genuinely thought a girl like her wouldn't want any kind of contact with me.
But then I fought "Fuck it. Maybe she does actually... Who am I to suppose what she wants." And you know, thinking I didn't have much too loose (after I lost tons of my hair), I went over and introduced myself. We had a nice little talk, she was really nice and genuinely happy to talk. Then I let her go her way, went my own and enjoyed my night. We talked a couple more time that night and that was that.
But after that night I figured it would be nice to see her again. I didn't have any hidden intention other than getting to know someone new. So I asked a common friend for her number and, after asking a panel of friends if that would be weird or perceived as an aggression, I sent her a little text that said "Hey, it's Matt from the party Saturday... Would like grabbing a coffee sometime ?"
Before sending it, my friends asked me if I was ready for her to say no. They asked me if she had a bf or if she was fauxflirting and to be fair, I had no idea. But I figured I didn't have much to loose. And I was ready for the fact that she might not want to hang out with me. And I thought that would be okay, that it wouldn't make me anything less as a person.
After sending the text, I put the phone down and starting talking with my friends about how the worst would be waiting for his answer and maybe he wouldn't answer at all ? But before the conversation was over my phone lit up and I add a text saying "Hey
At that point I was ecstatic... I couldn't believe it, the most gorgeous girl ever willing to grab a coffee with me ?? WHAT ? We then arranged to meet the next day in the afternoon... Which was yesterday. And let me just say it went well
So this whole things got me thinking about how we perceive ourselves and other people... How we think other people perceive us. Maybe it's time to stop being so hard on ourselves, and wary of other people...
Edit : For the people wondering, I'm a 27y/o American Indian guy... I'm really sorry for the couple grumpy people that seems to still be struggling big time with their insecurities. You'll get there and we love you
