Sometimes when striving to fall asleep I imagine how it would feel for a someone to just die not wake up in the morning. Honestly this thought almost moves me into tears, even more so because I always think about my mom who might be in some 10-15 years from her last draw of breath. That's hard to compute how someone can just stop to feel the world around him, not see with his eyes, not touch with his hands, not taste food, etc. Doubt I ever find the courage to suicide, even though I know that I'm basically done with happiness in my life at this point.