These are my thoughts. Others express themselves in open aggression, like the people who yell at us during arguments. I and probably you too, eat up their anger. It makes me think of very bad thoughts. But it's also because I don't care about human life and have no respect for it. That's why I have such thoughts. The other person only sees the respective situation. For me, the insults he inflicts on me are another contribution to the collection of all the things that have been done to me in my life. He believes that after the confrontation the matter would be over. I often still think about it years later. I think if the people who think they have to be aggressive towards me knew that I would get long-term trauma from it and that I kept thinking about them, they would fear me like I was a 6'6 tall mountain of muscle. Simply because I am potentially dangerous since it only depends on chance whether I will take revenge through murder.