Deleted member 7448
Name is Abdu, live in Laos, born on 24.08.1992.
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- Joined
- May 16, 2018
- Posts
- 7,127
Oh my god it's going to be literal torture for me. I've rotted for so long that I'm used to this freedom. Merely doing an online class or a project or something already drains so much out of me.
Back when I was 13 or 14 when my depression started, this was one of the several reasons. I hated school so, so much. It already seemed like slavery and I knew that my life would consist of slaving away all day long. Pretty sure it's one of the many reasons I became an alcoholic too.
Words can't describe how much an autist like me hates the idea of wageslavery. Oh my god, I've been cripplingly depressed for more than a decade, and this was WITH all the freedom in the world. Now I'll have to be a slave on top of it all. I can't fucking take that. Not to mention that I won't even be making any money in this hellhole country, but that's not the big issue.
I'll look back at the years of rotting and I'll really miss them. Such a wonderful time, really. Just lying in bed all day with my laptop. So much better than going to a job all day, doing chores and other shit I don't want to do (ugh, I'll also have to be around people, extra anxiety from that), to come back home tired to recover for the next day of slavery.
I'm constantly complaining that I have no interests, everything seems pointless, can't enjoy anything. And I did waste my time, like this summer (and all my summers) when I was totally free, didn't have to do anything for 24 hours a day. Didn't even enjoy myself, just wasted time. But I'd much rather do that than work.
Just recently on reddit someone said how they'd kill to have the kind of free time that lets them do whatever they want for 12 hours a day. Kinda put things into perspective, makes me regret not fully enjoying all my years of rotting. Really made me dread my future, I'll see the few hours of rotting in front of a screen after I come home tired from work as something precious. I really don't want to work. I'd rather be an incel and not get within 500 metres of pussy for the rest of my life than work.
Back when I was 13 or 14 when my depression started, this was one of the several reasons. I hated school so, so much. It already seemed like slavery and I knew that my life would consist of slaving away all day long. Pretty sure it's one of the many reasons I became an alcoholic too.
Words can't describe how much an autist like me hates the idea of wageslavery. Oh my god, I've been cripplingly depressed for more than a decade, and this was WITH all the freedom in the world. Now I'll have to be a slave on top of it all. I can't fucking take that. Not to mention that I won't even be making any money in this hellhole country, but that's not the big issue.
I'll look back at the years of rotting and I'll really miss them. Such a wonderful time, really. Just lying in bed all day with my laptop. So much better than going to a job all day, doing chores and other shit I don't want to do (ugh, I'll also have to be around people, extra anxiety from that), to come back home tired to recover for the next day of slavery.
I'm constantly complaining that I have no interests, everything seems pointless, can't enjoy anything. And I did waste my time, like this summer (and all my summers) when I was totally free, didn't have to do anything for 24 hours a day. Didn't even enjoy myself, just wasted time. But I'd much rather do that than work.
Just recently on reddit someone said how they'd kill to have the kind of free time that lets them do whatever they want for 12 hours a day. Kinda put things into perspective, makes me regret not fully enjoying all my years of rotting. Really made me dread my future, I'll see the few hours of rotting in front of a screen after I come home tired from work as something precious. I really don't want to work. I'd rather be an incel and not get within 500 metres of pussy for the rest of my life than work.