I'm gonna tell you what it's like to have a girlfriend as an incel- or...well, nearcel at that point.
There's this guy I know very well. Let's call him Ra's. He was incel for his entire life, except for that one time he somehow stumbled into a relationship in his teens. Well, there was also that one time he almost got into a relationship with a Ukrainian refugee he met in a psychiatric ward and that was looking for a place to live in, but they didn't have sex. Both of these experiences ended up very badly for him and he thinks they were not worth it.
I'd like to go into more detail about the time Ra's was in a relationship in his teens. As Ra's was his GF's first boyfriend,
JBF may have been on his side. And while this might sound like he was getting lucky, the problem was that unfortunately almost everything about the girl and their relationship was bad.
She - let's call her Becky - was an LTN that refused to put on make-up. And she had a lot of baggage in the form of mental issues and a problematic family. These issues played a huge part in them not being able to really live out the relationship. I'll explain that to you in more detail over the course of this text.
Ra's and Becky met over WoW and lived eight hours apart. Becky's father was racist and her BF was ethnic so her father wouldn't even have allowed her to stay at Ra's' place or vice versa. And as an 18 y/o in school and without rich parents Ra's was too broke to rent a hotel. Even buying the train ticket was a huge investment for him. As a result they didn't meet up for years.
Ra's had to put up with all this and more. Why? Because he knew he was lucky to even have Becky and couldn't get another girl.
He was used by Becky as her emotional tampon for months and months and when he refused to be that she threatened to kill herself at one point, so he kept staying in his role.
When Becky finally moved out of her abusive parents' home and in with Ra's, her parents were still against the relationship. Of course they didn't support her financially anymore then (well, her family was on NEETBUX anyway and the father had spent a huge portion of her share on beer and vidya even while she lived with them). And on top of that they refused to allow the girl to legally move in with her BF, so the state wouldn't even pay her NEETBUX and let her go to school there. Instead, they sent the police to search for her at Ra's' place every couple of months. Sometimes even at night. The cops knocked on the windows and used flashlights to get a look inside.
While the girl was living with Ra's, she was barely of any use to him, due to her mental issues and bad attitude. She didn't try to negotiate conditions with her parents or child protective services to make legally living there possible, even though her BF supported her through every step to the point where he did all the research and wrote down all arguments she could use. Also, she did not work to pay for her expenses.
And as if that wasn't enough, Becky even cheated on Ra's at some point.
I could go on and on about this.
But I think the point is clear: The relationship was very bad and the girl and her family were bad.
And I feel like as a kind of guy who struggles getting women and that happens to somehow stumble into a relationship, the kind of women you'll be with are going to be trash tier, but you will have little leverage in the relationship regardless and on top of that you're gonna be so deprived and inexperienced that you won't even be able to properly use the leverage. I mean, heck, if it's your first relationship, you're not gonna be playing push-and-pull games with the intent to make her more attracted to you and expand your leverage. Instead, you will just hold on to her desperately.
The type of woman and the type of relationship our guy Ra's had will mostly cause problems while adding little value to your life.
And the end result of that relationship for Ra's was it left him broken.
Now, to be fair, the guy wasn't LMS-maxxed and he only had a small sample size of women to work with. So, to you guys out there who have normie-tier looks (like Ra's actually had) and are wondering if and what type of woman you can pull: Don't just jump to the conclusion that it's certainly over for you. But it's definitely not easy to play with cards like that. And I think we need to be aware of the risks that are involved in having a relationship as an inexperienced, deprived guy.
Another thing I wanna say is Ra's was a touch-deprived and emotionally deprived guy who struggled mentally himself. He didn't even have a good relationship with his own family. And while I'm sure that a lot of you guys are like that too, I can see how others might also stumble into a relationship and not end up as badly as Ra's did or even consider it worthwhile. You guys certainly have the advantage that you know more about female nature than he did back then. And let's say you have everything going for you except for a relationship; I'm confident that in that case you'll be able to handle it better and have an easier time breaking up once the relationship starts to impact you negatively.
Don't get discouraged, guys!
