I'm tripping off drugs right now so if I break a rule, jannies don't fuck me up.
Interacting with women is such a hard thing to do. They're stupid and really make my life hell. The only time I went into psychosis was because of some hot bitch posting her fat titties on Instagram. I don't really know how to start this """story"" but basically not too long ago in my sophomore year in college I was a wagie fat fuck. I bounced between jobs that year and finally settled for some cleaning/office gig that gave me bs """"experience"""" for my field of study. One particular week I had to relieve another employee from there job or something and I basically had to do their job for some bs reason idk. I was already fairly sleepy as I only had about 4 hours of horrible sleep in the past 2 days and I was running off caffeine. In this particular building there's a really hot lady. Usually when I go to this building I just mumble to everyone like the sped I am, but that particular day I felt pretty confident. I had an extra dose of some hamza bs that morning and lost a bit of weight so I decided to try and talk to some people there. I managed to string enough words together on the topic of sports(our local football team) and actually felt normal for a bit, instead of awkwardly working around people as I walk with my head down talking to myself. All of a sudden this hot woman starts talking to me and I thought this was a blessing. She was explaining stuff about trash, because that's apart of my job. Afterwards I managed to out mumbled a halfway decent sexual joke and she looked at me, maintained her smile and walked away. I'm not certain what she thought, but the fact that I didn't get written up or in trouble means I was moving in the right direction socially I think. So I finish up work after chatting sports ball with the guys and flirting with the office siren and I feel like a million bucks. I head over to this nice diner. at the I get the highest calorie burger, a milkshake, and fries to go.
as I'm on the highway eating my food, scrolling Instagram and this one girl with humongous tits from my high school post her June highlights and I lose it. This girl in particular had been teasing me and treating me like her personal special needs dog for years and I actually fell for her. but it had been a long time since I've seen her. Last time I saw her in person I literally ran away from her. So seeing her again just made a switch in my head flip. I am in full blown psychosis. I believed that """they"""" had bugged my phone and was trying to turn me into a martyr. I genuinely believe they intentionally put this girl on my feed at that precise moment while I was eating brain numbing, high calorie slop so they could break me at my weakest point. I start screaming in my car and speeding up on the highway. The thought of me breaking my diet and seeing a girl I had a chance with(I never had a chance with that slut) made me mad. I call my friends and leave a bunch of voice messages screaming about how the CIA is trying to turn me into a martyr as I'm putting on creep by Radiohead. As I'm driving I look over and see someone staring at me and I assume its my handler. I didn't want him knowing I noticed he was my handler so I just hold it all together and awkwardly start smiling and pulling off the interstate. So many ideas just flooded my head as things just start making since. I believed the everyone in the office was in on it and that hot girl was going to be my trigger when they need me to start the race war. I reference Solomon Henderson a lot and assumed I was going to be him and that he was set up also. I really don't remember too much visually after leaving the interstate but after an hour I can kinda feel myself grow more sane but still reference how it's all a conspiracy and how they're always watching me. At this point I was inside a church that I worked for at the time part time. I was actually doing work there just moving chairs around for an event the next day but I was just whispering in my phone as I moved chairs with one hand as my boss watched me. I don't think he heard me or really cared. I wasn't nearly as loud as I was in my car but I was still whispering very quickly in my phone. I remember trying to act as normal as possible and following the "script" the CIA had for me because I didn't want them knowing I knew I was a martyr. I was trying to escape my fate while I still had time. After like officially chilling out completely I just kind sat and reevaluated life. None of the 2 people I called actually responded in the hours I was tripping and sending voice messages till the next day.
I kinda like realized it was basically just the ultimate form of cope and how I couldn't accept that I just a fatass and that some bitch was still hot asf. I think about that moment a lot. I PRAY it was just due to the lack of sleep because I was very sleepy and I always feel pretty paranoid. I went a while without sleep because of school probably and the amount of caffeine I was taking made me not really feel the effects I guess. I hope this isn't an early sign of schizophrenia.
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFkzRNyygfk
Interacting with women is such a hard thing to do. They're stupid and really make my life hell. The only time I went into psychosis was because of some hot bitch posting her fat titties on Instagram. I don't really know how to start this """story"" but basically not too long ago in my sophomore year in college I was a wagie fat fuck. I bounced between jobs that year and finally settled for some cleaning/office gig that gave me bs """"experience"""" for my field of study. One particular week I had to relieve another employee from there job or something and I basically had to do their job for some bs reason idk. I was already fairly sleepy as I only had about 4 hours of horrible sleep in the past 2 days and I was running off caffeine. In this particular building there's a really hot lady. Usually when I go to this building I just mumble to everyone like the sped I am, but that particular day I felt pretty confident. I had an extra dose of some hamza bs that morning and lost a bit of weight so I decided to try and talk to some people there. I managed to string enough words together on the topic of sports(our local football team) and actually felt normal for a bit, instead of awkwardly working around people as I walk with my head down talking to myself. All of a sudden this hot woman starts talking to me and I thought this was a blessing. She was explaining stuff about trash, because that's apart of my job. Afterwards I managed to out mumbled a halfway decent sexual joke and she looked at me, maintained her smile and walked away. I'm not certain what she thought, but the fact that I didn't get written up or in trouble means I was moving in the right direction socially I think. So I finish up work after chatting sports ball with the guys and flirting with the office siren and I feel like a million bucks. I head over to this nice diner. at the I get the highest calorie burger, a milkshake, and fries to go.
as I'm on the highway eating my food, scrolling Instagram and this one girl with humongous tits from my high school post her June highlights and I lose it. This girl in particular had been teasing me and treating me like her personal special needs dog for years and I actually fell for her. but it had been a long time since I've seen her. Last time I saw her in person I literally ran away from her. So seeing her again just made a switch in my head flip. I am in full blown psychosis. I believed that """they"""" had bugged my phone and was trying to turn me into a martyr. I genuinely believe they intentionally put this girl on my feed at that precise moment while I was eating brain numbing, high calorie slop so they could break me at my weakest point. I start screaming in my car and speeding up on the highway. The thought of me breaking my diet and seeing a girl I had a chance with(I never had a chance with that slut) made me mad. I call my friends and leave a bunch of voice messages screaming about how the CIA is trying to turn me into a martyr as I'm putting on creep by Radiohead. As I'm driving I look over and see someone staring at me and I assume its my handler. I didn't want him knowing I noticed he was my handler so I just hold it all together and awkwardly start smiling and pulling off the interstate. So many ideas just flooded my head as things just start making since. I believed the everyone in the office was in on it and that hot girl was going to be my trigger when they need me to start the race war. I reference Solomon Henderson a lot and assumed I was going to be him and that he was set up also. I really don't remember too much visually after leaving the interstate but after an hour I can kinda feel myself grow more sane but still reference how it's all a conspiracy and how they're always watching me. At this point I was inside a church that I worked for at the time part time. I was actually doing work there just moving chairs around for an event the next day but I was just whispering in my phone as I moved chairs with one hand as my boss watched me. I don't think he heard me or really cared. I wasn't nearly as loud as I was in my car but I was still whispering very quickly in my phone. I remember trying to act as normal as possible and following the "script" the CIA had for me because I didn't want them knowing I knew I was a martyr. I was trying to escape my fate while I still had time. After like officially chilling out completely I just kind sat and reevaluated life. None of the 2 people I called actually responded in the hours I was tripping and sending voice messages till the next day.
I kinda like realized it was basically just the ultimate form of cope and how I couldn't accept that I just a fatass and that some bitch was still hot asf. I think about that moment a lot. I PRAY it was just due to the lack of sleep because I was very sleepy and I always feel pretty paranoid. I went a while without sleep because of school probably and the amount of caffeine I was taking made me not really feel the effects I guess. I hope this isn't an early sign of schizophrenia.
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFkzRNyygfk
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