Today I was wageslaving and felt terribly sick to the stomach, I went to the restroom 4 times and I almost puked, that was something I ate but it doesn’t matter, nobody there seemed to care cause it was the ugly mf feeling in pain, so nobody worthy of attention.
Im still with my parents and they care a bit in the surface, but no sincere love and care, just some tips of how to heal from this, Im not the kid I used to be anymore and they feel physically repulsed from affection.
What scares me is that Im truly alone, and I will learn to accept it. After mom and dad will die there’s nobody in this planet that is gonna feel an ounce of care for me, Im the equivalent of a stray dog in the highway. There’s nothing, all I will ever have are disappointed looks for my face.
This is not about relationships or anything Im truly scared rn and hugging a pillow in ny bed rn as I type this. Im so alone and Im trying to get close to God because that’s it for me, Im just gonna age in pain and indifference. This is what all of my struggles amounted to, just fear, silence, solitude, abandonment, until the day I die.
Im still with my parents and they care a bit in the surface, but no sincere love and care, just some tips of how to heal from this, Im not the kid I used to be anymore and they feel physically repulsed from affection.
What scares me is that Im truly alone, and I will learn to accept it. After mom and dad will die there’s nobody in this planet that is gonna feel an ounce of care for me, Im the equivalent of a stray dog in the highway. There’s nothing, all I will ever have are disappointed looks for my face.
This is not about relationships or anything Im truly scared rn and hugging a pillow in ny bed rn as I type this. Im so alone and Im trying to get close to God because that’s it for me, Im just gonna age in pain and indifference. This is what all of my struggles amounted to, just fear, silence, solitude, abandonment, until the day I die.
