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Venting I'm so depressed and lonely

Red Shambhala

Red Shambhala

Death to America
★★
Joined
Nov 10, 2017
Posts
2,566
Ah, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't even need to actually BE with someone, I would just like to feel how someone would WANT to be with me. That alone would be enough, really. Just that feeling of being desired by someone and wanted.
 
I know that feel, brother. Normies will never understand our pain.
 
Cucktears doesn't understand
 
I am just an empty shell of my former self.
 
Women don't realize how lucky they have it. They have hundreds of guys who want them while we would be happy with at least one girl.
 
Cucktears doesn't understand
"haha bro just like get a hooker bro!"
Ah, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't even need to actually BE with someone, I would just like to feel how someone would WANT to be with me. That alone would be enough, really. Just that feeling of being desired by someone and wanted.
It's over boyo
 
Ah, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't even need to actually BE with someone, I would just like to feel how someone would WANT to be with me. That alone would be enough, really. Just that feeling of being desired by someone and wanted.

Hey man, I know exactly how you feel. I decided to join this forum just for the purpose of contacting you. If you want to talk, PM me and I will try to hear you out and maybe give you some perspective. Peace.
 
I have a post-work depression. I always have this. I have worked SO FUCKING MUCH over the last two to three months and now I finally have holidays. And I was SO looking forward to the holidays! Everything went as planned. In some ways even better than planned! But of course, once work is over you have to deal with your private life again. And become aware of your private life again. This is similar to a post video game depression. Ideally, you have a good video game and podcasts when you have holidays. But there aren't that many really good video games. I also feel to be depressed to be angry. Too tired to hate. Hate and anger is when I'm all under stress and have tons of shit to do and am all tense. And then think about politics and all these assholes who support all this shit and how they would deserve to ... well you know what I mean. But once you're tired and exhausted and don't have anything to do, this is when I'm rather depressed than angry. The two emotions I feel most of the time now are anger and fear. These are my two standard emotions. Anger and fear. Lately I'm more horny again. So you have anger + fear + arousal. And then depression over realizing how you're not even wanted. A real relationship wouldn't work out anyway, I guess, I'm too damaged and wounded. But just like ... this feeling of someone wanting to be with you, that would be good. Fucking Chads.
 
I now the feeling. At this point I don't even care about making friends I just want a gf.
 
Too tired to hate.

Any kind of negative emotion is energy-draining. The stronger the emotion you yield to, the more energy you lack. Let me tell you this. I have never had a girlfriend, my social skills kind of suck, I have quite a number of bad habits and generally I feel the way you described. I've been lurking incels for some time because I totally understand where you come from but at the same time I don't identify with your ideology (blackpill, 80/20 rule etc.) I've noticed many users here carry a defeatist attitude and provide no kind of support whatsoever. If you feel depressed and you wish for things to get better, I have to warn you that the tips I will give need to be applied as a long-term solution. Don't expect quick results. Battling depression or any kind of chemical inbalance in your brain is a matter of time.

Firstly, I strongly encourage you to limit visiting this site to a minimum. I know it might be the only place where you feel understood but it only sustains distorted beliefs on life. If you identify with them, please take a moment and reconsider them. Most of the views here are wrong, plain and simple.

Secondly, drastically limit watching porn. Once a week is good enough, but try to fap to your imagination of real-life scenarios. The overuse of porn is, I guess, the reason for such a distorted view on women. You need to wake up to reality and it cannot be found in porn which is, I guess, the only source of your knowledge about sex and stuff. Also, try to limit your time on video games and the internet in general. Video games and the internet are simply speaking, fantasy.


Next thing, check your posture. If you are depressed, chances are that you slouch and don't care about it whatsoever. Straighten your spine and pull your arms backwards to align them with your chest. I can tell you from experience that it gives good results in a short time. Just keep that in mind - learning to have a pernament good posture requires effort and constant check-up. Personally, when I started walking straight and my head up, I felt less likely to be swayed by negative emotions.

Another thing, physical exercise. Gym is the popular one here but I prefer simple half an hour jogging. It puts you in an elevated mood for some time and releases endorphins to limit the effects of depression in long term. Personally, after half a year of regular jogging I feel much much better than before. I still feel negative sometimes but there is definitely a difference in the overall mood.

Next thing is meditation. This is a huge one. It helps you put things in perspective and be more aware of what is going on in your mind as well as become more humble about yourself. Meditation helped me realize a lot of things about myself and a lot of problems which I should have adressed a long time ago. I strongly suggest to check it out. PM me if you need more info, I can give you some useful tips to help you avoid some mistakes I did in my practice.

And generally, try doing things that you can feel proud of. Really. It helps you feel good about yourself. Start small. Clean up your room. Clean up the dishes. Do the thing you postpone all the time. Put your effort in something good. Personally, I started to feel less anxious around people when I had nothing to hide from them. When I started living to my own standards, I felt less self-conscious and more open to another human being.

Finally, if you implement all of these advice, after some time you will start feeling better. Then, I suggest simply going out to people. Start small. Make sure you do it quite regularly. Don't force yourself to go out. Do it only, when you feel inclined to.

That's it. I wish you good luck with your depression and remeber - put someeffort in your life and you will see the results. Just be patient. You can do it. Peace.
 
Yeah, I just want to be wanted.
That's all I need to know that I am not completely worthless.
 
Yeah, sometimes depression hits you. It's harder to cope with, if you're forced to go to the outside world.
 
I feel like my young years are escaping me and there is nothing I can do about it
 
Yeah, I just want to be wanted.
That's all I need to know that I am not completely worthless.

I don't know you but I guess you didn't get enough love and affection in your youngest years when you were the most vulnerable and prone to suggestion. And probably you built a belief that you are unwanted. Sometimes I feel the same. I can tell you that the process of growing up, of becoming an emotionally-stable adult is also the process of forgiving yourself and those who wronged you in the past. Love yourself is to accept yourself. It means that whatever happens to you, you are standing by your side, not against yourself. I often like to compare my thinking process to the thinking of a young child who feels hurt. Please, do that. Whenever you feel like judging yourself or saying some hurtful things to yourself, try to see these thoughts as thoughts said by your younger self. Try to be that loving and affectionate parent who patiently listens to thier child's struggles. Be kind to yourself. It is terribly difficult, I know. The voice in our heads, that voice that keeps us down and judges everything we do is not to be hated. Love it. Accept it. Be its friend. If it judges you, thank him for his irrelevant opinion.

One of the most profound epiphanies I had about life is that to be loved or wanted by somebody, you first need to want and love yourself. Nobody is going to fill the hole in your heart. Only you can do this. Only you can be whole with yourself. That other person can only compliment your life but never be that indispensible part of your person. And when you love yourself, people notice this. Believe me. Since I started being more compassionate about myself, I feel like people treat me differently. Like I am a better person. Like I am actually worth something.

Loving yourself takes huge effort. It is difficult. It is hard. I know it is much more easier to blame everything on the outside world. On women, men, society, your family. It is easier to just sit, not do anything, watch porn and play video games all the time. It is all easy. But it is also meaningless. And while it provides you that short-term relief, it makes your life much more horrible in the long run. It is not worth it. Trust me. If you truly want to be wanted, commit your life to want yourself first. I wish you all the best. Peace.
 
i'm so depressed i just want to sui right now, but I won't
 

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