Alone75
Legend
★★★★
- Joined
- Nov 16, 2017
- Posts
- 3,823
I just see no way out, to be content never mind feel "happy". It's been too long like this year after year and now decade after decade, 3 decades since I was legally old enough to have sex and nothing has changed. Only the passage of time is different, people get older, your family die, your pets die and you are older and look even worse. Grey hair coming in, hair on the forehead recessing, jowls forming. Any noticeable muscle disappearing and getting a stomach paunch. What chance do I really have now 4 years away from 50 being still a virgin and more isolated and alone than ever? Seriously!
I start a new job Tuesday, seasonal work until November and I know it'll go badly and people will judge me negatively. I just want a chance to live a regular life and even if alone just given a chance of a stable job at least so I can afford the basics. If I get rejected then my health will suffer more in all ways. It shouldn't be such a struggle, I hate living in my shitty town in England, I'd rather be in India in a poor part with a wife and family, [I say this as a sub5 white man] I actually felt jealous when I saw some guy making a living collecting scrap or swimming through sewage, at the end of the day he came home to a loving wife and kids. I'll never have that, it's all a fucking scam. I hate this living hell!
I start a new job Tuesday, seasonal work until November and I know it'll go badly and people will judge me negatively. I just want a chance to live a regular life and even if alone just given a chance of a stable job at least so I can afford the basics. If I get rejected then my health will suffer more in all ways. It shouldn't be such a struggle, I hate living in my shitty town in England, I'd rather be in India in a poor part with a wife and family, [I say this as a sub5 white man] I actually felt jealous when I saw some guy making a living collecting scrap or swimming through sewage, at the end of the day he came home to a loving wife and kids. I'll never have that, it's all a fucking scam. I hate this living hell!
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